Celeste

2012-01-24T12:17:00.009+08:00

My family's standard CNY routine:
1) Go to Chinatown at night on the eve
2) Go to Marina Bay at night the next day

Chinatown was horribly crowded as usual, but I got to see the elusive Ann Siang Hill for once! Reminds me of Emerald Hill and the shophouses at Tanjong Pagar... great place to chill and take photos, if you ask me :)
The thing about Chinatown is that the moment you go there, the atmosphere is there. I swear, me and my family were just walking around aimlessly, but basking in the sights and sounds of the whole area.
Did I mention how much I love my Canon SLR? I know it doesn't carry as much swag as a DSLR you see people carrying in Chinatown that night. All the turn-turn-turning of the knobs to show how professional they are... when you can just adjust the mode for SLRs by pressing a few buttons. And I love the outcome of some of the night shots!

On the second day, I was telling my sis, "half of the population is here at Marina Bay, while the other half is at Chinatown. So how come we don't see anybody we know??" But in the end I saw a classmate so it wasn't that bad.
I really really love walking along the Helix Bridge at night. The night view of the city lights/ skyline is just gorgeous. I can't never get enough of it. I always imagine myself living Vancouver/ NYC/ Tokyo and soaking in the night lights...

Stopped for supper at Killiney's... look at that sandwich.

That sandwich cost us $8.80 LIKE SERIOUSLY GUYS...

Enjoy the rest of the day! :)

2012-01-21T21:25:00.001+08:00

Attended the Dreams and Reality art exhibition at National Museum of Singapore today, and I gotta say it was a pretttty good experience :)

I've decided I'm your average art-appreciator. I'm fascinated by a few outstanding art pieces, I listen to the guide like a good little girl, I read the description for any art piece, I pay attention to the different strokes used by different artists and am able to discern Impressionism from other styles... but after awhile, I get bored. I don't appreciate every art piece- I have common taste and am fascinated by the ones everyone else is fascinated by... and after a while, I space out when the guide is talking about van Gogh and his brother Theo and how he shot himself when he was 37 in a field because he wanted to die in someplace beautiful.

But I choose to show the cultured/ refined side of me and share with y'all the things I gained from this art museum trip. (and do some reflection now in case Ms Teo asks me what I gained from this trip during GP)

I've decided that my favourite paintings aren't only the ones that look pretty and pleasant to the eye. My favourite ones are those in which mythology/ allegory is depicted in the paintings, and when there is detail in the paintings which people commonly miss out.

For example, this artist (forgot the name. So many names were mentioned. Monet/ Millet/ Cabanel) has a trademark in his photos- he always includes flowers in the portraits he paints. The flowers hardly take centerstage so it's always easy to ignore it, but I guess that's an identifier for that dude's paintings.
And there was this painting- The Knight of the Flowers of a dude in an armour surrounded by nude females... what captivated me about the painting was how detailed it was- the canvas size was ginormous, yet the artist painstakingly considered the reflection in his armour and used a different technique to paint the background.
Lastly, there was a painting of a courtesan. What made the painting so special was that people wouldn't have noticed a small box at the top right hand corner- it depicted a mirror having her suitor's reflection on it.
That's what I love about some artists- they really pay so much attention to detail.

And I am absolutely fascinated by mythology. It seems as if the French are enamoured by the goddess, Venus and love paying tribute to her.

Okay time for my favourite paintings in the whole exhibition!

MY FAVOURITE PAINTING, The Enigma. It depicts a war-torn Paris, and it looked so tragic. When I glanced at that painting, I looked away and immediately looked back and STARED.
I realise I like paintings depicting grief and morbid things. Another one of my favourites depicted a death angel visiting a girl in her bedroom. It was too tragic, so I refused to take a photo of it. It's called The Young Girl and Death, if you're interested.

Summer Night and... another painting whose name I can't seem to find.

Presenting: the hot HOT favourites EVERYONE took a picture of.

Starry Night by van Gogh and Spring by Millet.

Other ones I liked: The Pink Dress, Birth of Venus, The Lady with the Glove (the glove was SO COOL), A Forge, The Seige of Paris (another war piece), In the Black Country, The Boy with the Cat (a nude, but the dude is cute), Dancers Climbing the Stairs
The ones I disliked: Landscape with Green Trees, War (by Henry Rosseau)

I think the exhibition was pretty small-scale :( I'd have loved to see other paintings!

Yes I know it's very unclassy of me to use layman terms to depict what I enjoyed (some people would say stuff like "I like the way he used light to capture the essence of the painting").
And a funny thing happened- I told Jereld in the morning that I'd want to "see a rainbow this year, because I didn't see any rainbows last year". Guess what I saw this evening?

2012-01-20T20:53:00.000+08:00

So as some of you have already known, I won a dress from Seventeen magazine. I was pretty shocked cause they only notified me 2 months from the draw, and besides, WHAT ARE THE ODDS? SPH sent me a letter that said I’d won a Boxy Flare dress, and I couldn’t for the life of me remember how that dress looked like. So, with anticipation building and fingers crossed, I headed down to SPH yesterday to pick up my dress.

Took the bloody long way there. Walked all the way to Circle Line, took the train to Serangoon (with train delays, damn ye SMRT), changed train at Boon Keng. If you haven’t been to Boon Keng, it has a hell lot of exits and I didn’t have the foggiest idea where the bus stops were located at. Only with sheer luck did I manage to find my way there.

The traffic was absolutely terrible. Traffic at Boon Keng on a normal Thursday afternoon is like traffic at Orchard Road on Christmas Eve. I took >20 mins to travel 1.9km to the bus stop. Okay seriously we can cover 2.4km in < 15 mins… if I had jogged to the bus stop in the first place, I would have reached there in record time!

Apparently, you can’t trust StreetDirectory.Com because the bus stop was NOWHERE near SPH. I found myself in a god-forsaken place surrounded by industrial buildings. Not a single soul in sight except for the occasional construction worker. Not a place for any girl to be at, especially when she's alone.
The address of the SPH building was 82 Genting Lane, and the inaccurate asshole StreetDirectory.Com told me it was a “3 minutes walk” from the bus stop. BULLSHIT. The bus stop was located at 39 Genting Lane. Guess who walked all the way from unit 39 to unit 82? FML

After countless minutes of trudging under the merciless Singapore sun, I finally FINALLY saw the SPH building. Pretty big, but plain. And at such an inaccessible location with extremely tight security. Had to exchange my student pass for an access card which I used multiple times. You need it to enter the building, to enter into the lift lobby, to enter the rooms... What have they got to hide? Scared that the people whom journalists have insulted would want to burn the place down??

Took the lift to the seventh floor, where SPH Magazines is located. It’s a little bit of Mode from Ugly Betty, a little of Alette from Confessions of a Shopaholic. A corridor leading you to the main receptionist desk showed framed glamour shots/ magazine covers on the wall. I was absolutely starstruck and mindblown. It seemed so… high fashion, even though we know Singapore ain’t pretty high up on the fashion scale.
The reception desk proved my generalisations wrong though. No pretty, young girl greeted me- only women in their 40s-50s were behind the desk.

I chatted with the receptionist for awhile, but she seemed nonchalant to all the praises I showered the office with. I guess she’s used to newcomers/ visitors having slack jaws the moment they entered the office. She passed me the dress, and to my horror, I realised it was a lump of green. Emerald green (to make it sound more classy), but green nonetheless. The hideous kind that only people who command a high level of respect like Kate Middleton can pull off, without people labelling her a fashion disaster.

But since I've beat other gals from Singapore and won this dress, it must mean something somehow. So I'm not selling it away! Besides, I don't think anyone else would be willing to buy it.

my all-time fave songs

2012-01-08T14:14:00.003+08:00

Here I am, sitting at home on a rainy Sunday afternoon, feeling absolutely numb about school starting tomorrow, listening to my iPod on shuffle... when I chanced upon songs that I used to love hearing.
They are by mainstream singers and a few of them actually tided me through the PSLE period. Yep that's more than 5 years ago, but I still love the tunes/ lyrics. So I'm just gonna share them with you here, if you're interested you guys can Youtube the songs. I'm a little tune-ist, so you may find some of the lyrics crappy but I absolutely love the melody lines.
And for some odd reason these songs were never released as singles. I wonder why.

1. Anything but Ordinary- Avril Lavigne
Let down your defences/ Use no common sense/ If you look you will see/ that this world is a beautiful accident turbulent suculent opulent permanent, no way/ I wanna taste it / Don't wanna waste it away

2. You Found Me- Kelly Clarkson
You found me when no one else was looking/ How did you know just where I would be>/ Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion/ The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave/ I guess that you saw what nobody could see/ You found me

3. Drive- Vanessa Hudgens
I don't claim to know it all/ I've had some wins I've had some falls/ The road is long and time is short/ I don't wanna spend too much time in thought/ I don't intend to play it safe/ I've gotta move to find my place/ I wasn't born for small talk crowds/ I know what I want and its not in this town

I've got big plans for 2012, but I don't know if I'm able to see them through. Still pining for my 100-Tumblr-notes, hoping to earn money from selling clothes at my blogshop, writing a new Gossip-Girl inspired novel (still in the works, but I've posted the first 2 chapters online), constantly writing songs... and planning to intern for a magazine by the end of the year.
Heh heh before I build my castles... I'm gonna do some linear equations.

2012-01-06T11:46:00.002+08:00

Well...

Emerald City

2011-12-30T11:33:00.000+08:00

Went for a catch-up session yesterday with Ching Yee and Ting Wei :) We had such a lovely time, talking about random shit that mostly revolved around guys. Then we decided to make our way to Haji Lane to take some photos...
Interior of Victoria Jomo:

We walked around somemore...

Then we saw this lovely usable typewriter at Threadbare and Squirrel so I decided to use it. The thrill of using something vintagey... priceless.

YES I KNOW the text ain't exactly original, I should've quoted some memorable song lyrics or something.
Then we wandered to Parkview Square. That place is the stuff of fantasies. There's a place to pose with statues outside the building, and when you go in... we were MINDBLOWN. The interior is so beautiful, and Ting Wei said it was very "Oxford-like". Definitely A Place in Singapore You Should Go Before You Die.

I would have actually sneaked a photo of the interior, but the security guards were staring at us. Especially the female one. I was climbing up a pedestal to take a photo with a goblet-like thing and she screamed at me and Ting Wei to get down. Screaming at us was probably the highlight of her day, that place is so quiet yet the security is so tight, they must all be bored out of their asses.

We wanted to head home after that, but me and Ting Wei made a spontaneous decision and decided to hang out in Orchard. We discovered a gem in the heart of Orchard Road- Emerald Hill. Okay okay I've heard of the name before but I didn't exactly know what it was.
That place is where all the wealthy people roll and live in vintage-like terraces. It's near an international school, near Somerset MRT, and if you're fixated with angmohs, you can see a cute one at the turn of every corner.

Somehow we managed to wander into this alleyway, the kind of skeevy places where people love to film in. Y'know, the kind of places you see in tv dramas where girls get raped/ gang fights break out/ someone gets a beating.

Outfit poses :)

K off to do chem now!

2011-12-29T21:51:00.003+08:00

Went out today to catch up with Ching Yee and Ting Wei, took a bunch of pix but I'm a tad lazy to edit them and post them up here today.
Anyway... only 2 more days till the year ends!! As I've mentioned, this year has been the epitome of uneventful.... someone break my heart will ya? I'm so sick of feeling nothing all the time!

Anyway, I've always had random thoughts to post here, but I never really got the chance. Today I will be talking about People Who Lead Others On.

I know it gets pretty flattering when you find out someone likes you. It strokes your ego, boosts your self-confidence, makes you feel important and special, blah blardity blah. But I absolutely CANNOT stand it when people exploit other people's feelings to feel good about themselves by leading them on.
Sure, the more hearts you capture, the better you'll feel. To you, those people who like you don't affect you much. But while you coolly go on with your daily activities, can you imagine how you make them feel? You're giving them a bumpy rollercoaster ride with their emotions, you're giving them false hope, you're making them feel like shit. All the pain, heartache and anticipation you give them.... yet to you they hardly mean anything special. You affect them wayyyy more than they affect you.
So while you lead people on as a therapy to soothe your unaffected heart, imagine if you're the one dealing with unreciprocated love instead. It's so damn selfish and CRUEL. I cannot imagine people deliberately inflicting such pain on others just to feel good about themselves. Yeah, I know I'm repeating myself... but it makes me sick to think about that.
No one wants to feel invisible, everybody wants at least a morsel of attention. But I will never want that kind of attention from guys who pant at my feet, guys who will never stand a chance. And I will definitely not start texting them when they feel like pulling back, roping them in and giving them false hope. I'd rather feel unloved than give false love.

Okay end of rant.

Souvenir Shop in Thailand

2011-12-28T19:44:00.002+08:00

Friendships

2011-12-27T17:18:00.003+08:00

Isn't it funny- sometimes you don't mean as much to the person who means a lot to you. And the person who means a lot to you can be so oblivious to everything you're doing to hold on to her, and it cuts like a knife knowing that other people mean more to her than you do.
Letting go is difficult, especially if you have a possessive nature, but maybe you should stop being like Blair Waldorf who has that impulse to control everyone and everything around her. Stop trying to make people love you; if she doesn't see your goodness and what not, then let her go. There may be other people out there dying to take that spot as your best friend.

I really dislike the whole "best friends" label. You feel so pressurised to live up to your role, you keep on second-guessing everything, you expect too much out of people... it's unnecessary stress. I've got a bunch of close friends but I never rank them consciously, at least.

Another thing I dislike- silent visitors. I REFUSE to answer any Formspring questions until I get a decent number. And if it takes 3 years, FINE I'll wait 3 years (unless I cave in and delete my Formspring account).
Okay gonna finish up my history essay and head to school now :)

P.S. I'm writing this post in general, don't pick it apart and analyse it like a literature text. It'll make you confused and frustrated if you can't figure anything out. Besides, I'm hard to figure out. Only my sis knows my thoughts on everyone, perspectives of everything and my dirty little secrets.

2011-12-26T20:05:00.000+08:00

Hope Christmas was good for y'all! :D For me, I had a relatively uneventful Christmas, apart from the wonderful lunch I had with my family at Kenny Rogers :) Left the house again in the evening to walk along Orchard Road with Kylie, and I got all starry eyed at F21 because they had a ginormous collection of knitwear, crotchet tops and pullovers. ME GUSTA. In the end we walked from Orchard (they had a float parade this year) all the way to City Hall, appreciating the beautiful night lights.
So anyway I was editing my Thailand photos cuz I was thinking of posting them up on Tumblr, here are the ones I took at Coast Samet.

Sorry if the photos are heavily edited, but I have big plans for them. One of the things on my bucket list is to get over 100 notes for a personal photo I post on Tumblr. Ya ya I know people out there get 200k+ notes, but baby steps people! I already reached my 75 notes milestone, and my next aim ain't too far from that.
Also, Coast Samet is a beautiful place! Great for cheap beach vacations. I know everybody wants to go to exotic places like the Maldives and Miami... but beaches in Asia aren't too bad :)

Anyway I recently discovered the joys of Instagram, posted a lot of random picts there, just because. Follow me @takeonexx if you're interested! Not gonna link it to Twitter or anything because I will seriously spam people's timelines with crap.

It's the time of the year when we people do our routine end-of-year post and count our blessings. Not sure if I'm gonna do one this year, because this year was the epitome of uneventful.
I do remember that I was obsessed with this song last year- New York by Paloma Faith. It's a unique song and I got hooked, though I can't relate to it.

Anyway I've decided to create a Formspring account. Feel free to ask me any questions (though I expect only 5 questions a year) or else I'll only be answering Formspring questions of the day :(

2011-12-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

Ok I need to blog now because I just feel like blogging. If I blog the same thing another day, it'd be an awful post because I woudn't have that same feeling/ impulse then. I guess it means that I'm governed by emotions?

Anyway I think I can be a pretty cynical/ bitter/ whiny person. I have a million things I'm bitter about. That I'm socially-awkward, that I'm not the least pretty, that nobody will ever like me (genuine fear, not some lame #foreveralone trend), that I need to work for things in life while some people just get things dropped onto their laps so easily.
Of course I can be sunnily optimistic, but that usually comes after a certain time period of emoing and bringing myself down.

But I had a great day today, and realised I actually have much to be thankful about. Apart from my very caring, supportive family, I have wonderful WONDERFUL friends :)
Had a mini catch-up session with my fave buds in the world during Resonate concert intermission today... was basically bitching about life, but in a light-hearted dramatic way. I love talking to them!
When I reached home exhausted from the concert, I saw 2 little envelopes sitting at my desk. Ripped open the first one (air-flown from London) and smiled to myself while reading a very lengthy letter (which addressed my insecurities) and was reminded that I'm terribly blessed to have a close friend living millions of miles away from me. Opened the Christmas letter and was thankful that I was remembered.
Then I read a note which said that I have a "one of a kind personality". ME! ONE OF A KIND! I was like "aw shucks really?" before doing a happy dance in my room.

The purpose of this is not to show off or anything, but just to remind myself that I should be perfectly content because I'm blessed with many friends who will be there for me. Friends who know what I like, know my insecurities, constantly humour me...
I thought I'd reached my threshold for making close friends from school at the start of this year, since after 4 years of being with the same people I'd have made all the possible close friends... but nuh-uh this year I've made even more new close friends and rekindled old friendships.
And when you're reading this and you're someone I'm not close to (I assume only close/ at least decent friends would bother reading this)... talk to me. God knows I read other blogs too and I just wish I could talk to them just to know them better but I don't know how to.
That's what a cbox is for, but I get only like 1 proper comment a month but 3 spammers a day, so I decided to do away with it. Maybe I should create a Formspring for people who wanna talk to me... but it'll be super embarrassing if I get 10 questions a year. Decisions decisions.

Sweet 17th

2011-12-21T21:48:00.002+08:00

Everyone expects something great out of milestone birthdays, eg. sweet 16/ 18/ 21. But this year's one was one of the sweetest for me :)

Where can I begin? With the well wishes from everyone in Guitar Ensemble (actl it was prompted by the mass sms sent out) to the surprise with the cake at the music atrium... It's kinda embarrassing, but when they switched off the lights and I saw Deon (I really didn't expect that, I thought he forgot) strolling in with the birthday cake, the candle illuminating his face like an angel (not exaggerating), when everyone burst out singing the traditional birthday song, I stoned with my mouth dropped and my eyes instantly filled. It was so heartwarming especially to see the friendly faces of fellow Lectralians (Shen Hao, Iris, Jyh Howe), touched that they still remembered...

Rehearsal was ok but I had good good company :) Went out for dinner with my parents then shopping with my sis (Topshop has really good sales items this season). Just opened my presents and I'm really thankful/ feel blessed for such great friends! All your presents and notes are so sweet, I think my heart will PERMANANTLY remain in this semi-melted state.

Ok I'm super tired right now, gonna hit the sack (it's like, 9.50pm?) soon. Probably after finishing an episode of the Lying Game, which has
1) Great GREAT soundtrack
2) A male version of Kristen Stewart

I'm turning 17!

2011-12-20T18:41:00.002+08:00

It's THE TIME of the year when I do that routine "birthday" post. I'm gonna be one year older! Man, I really don't know what to feel- I'm not excited or anything. To me, tomorrow's just gonna be another day.
What's it about birthdays anyway? It's not like you'll magically feel a year older or anything. And you know the tradition of staying up to wish someone "happy birthday" at 12 midnight? Well I don't believe in it, cuz it isn't as if I was born on 12 midnight or something. I was born at 8.33pm people, and it would really make my day/ night if people wished me at that time rather than 12 midnight, 20 hours earlier.

The same time last year (my birthday eve), I had a really shitty day at work and I went home crying my heart out and bitching to my friends about everything and anything. I also worked on my birthday last year, but in contrast I had a really good day- I was blessed with sweet customers and my friends came to visit me at work :)

This year...
First and foremost, I don't think I'll care about Facebook wishes this year. Facebook is like... so 6 months ago, esp when you have Twitter and Tumblr. It's a HERCULEAN (hehe remember our GP paper?) effort to even keep Blogger alive, when my Tumblr is updated 24/7. And the last time I wished someone on fb was approx 10 months ago, so I really think people will return the favour by not wishing me anything. I'll probably get like 5 wishes or something.
Secondly, no I'm not gonna stay up till 12 midnight to see who's the first kind soul who remembered. The first reason is stated above, and the second reason is because I'm sick. Horrors of horrors. I have a sore throat/ runny nose and I have to wake up early cuz of guitar rehearsal tomorrow, so I'll probably sleep before 10pm today.
Lastly, I'm devastated because I can't treat myself to good food this year cuz of the said sore throat. Darn. I could've indulged in Macs fries just now but no, I had to settle for that lame corn cup and coca-cola with salt. And my mum got all her Christmas gifts from her colleagues already, 90% of them is cookies/ chocolate which is a no-go for me. What a tragedy.
My birthday wish this year IS TO GET WELL BEFORE CHRISTMAS, because obviously my sore throat won't just magically disappear tomorrow. I could actually write a parody of All I Want for Christmas Is You (change it to All I Want for Birthday is Food)... but nahh I have better things to do.

Ok gonna go make a scrapbook of my Bangkok trip now! Wanted to do a post about it, but 0 motivation. There are 3 things you need to know about it:
1) The shopping rocks. It's not a myth. But you just gotta go to the right places
2) The food is good and cheap! I swear I ate like 8 meals a day when I was there... I don't even dare to weigh myself now
3) Don't take the cab. This is why:

First World Pains (I)

2011-12-17T15:25:00.002+08:00

Awful songs with repetititve tunes playing in store's stereos

No seats on the MRT, especially when you're feeling exhausted

Squeezing in an MRT train for several stops during peak hour periods

Long waiting queue for the toilets in EVERY washroom in Bugis Junction (really)

Getting chased out from every single restaurant/ cafe you study in

Having your jeans feel magically tighter at the thigh area with each year because you're eating more :(

Nothing that catches your eye at a particularly good CottonOn sale

A piece of garment that you really love, but you can't find your size

Digging through mountains of clothes at the sales rack to find something cheap which you happen to like

Needing to pee after drinking a lot of fluid while watching a painfully long movie

Queuing up for >1 hour for a USS ride

Getting nothing special on V-day while your other friends are showered with gifts

Mountaineous piles of holiday homework

Waiting for the next iPhone model to come out

Hearing a song you hate on the radio, but having no power to change it

Being unable to connect to a free Wireless network

Getting connected to a Wireless network, but the connection sucks and your Internet is crawling at snail pace

Boring uesless uneventful school excursions

Traveling overseas, but within Asia, while your friends are exploring exotic places in the US and the UK

Stuck with a digital camera while undeserving brats get to flaunt off their DSLRs (while not putting it to good use)

Nail polish that chips off after a day

Having your period but forgetting to bring pads

Getting something lovely from a flea market... Until you try it on and realizes it doesn't fit

Putting up with the sight of aunties parading around in fake LV/ Longchamp bags

Sitting next to a bunch of giggly girls when you're studying

That unbearable human traffic jam along Orchard road when it's raining

Not having the chance to take a proper look/ photo/ grope the shirtless Abercrombie buff bois because they're always surrounded by an adoring fan club of deprived girls

Being scolded by staff when you take photos in a store

Putting up with people who spam their Twitter with self-indulgent tweets, then wondering how to unfollow them without hurting their feelings

Correction tape running out halfway during an assignment, and you're forced to cancel your mistakes with a pen. Which looks so damn unsightly

Funshion stops screening your favorite show (damn ye for stopping GG S4, PLL S2)

Having someone take an unflattering photo of you, then tag you on Facebook (yeah, as if people judge your appearance based on that one photo)

Waiting for people to upload photos of you on Facebook after a gathering

Smelling smoke in non-smoking areas

Not sure if all of them are considered first world pains, but I'm pretty sure the list will keep growing (therefore I'm naming this part 1).
Shit aren't we a bunch of spoiled brats?

2011-12-11T10:23:00.001+08:00

One last post before I check in! Heading to Thailand for 4 days :D

So anyway my sis was complaining that I haven't got her a Christmas present yet..
Sis: I tell you what I want for Christmas, it's very small. Not even a big deal, not expensive.
Me: What?
Sis: I want Yami yogurt...
Me: ... Take home pack?
Sis: dispensing machine.

Oh man. Ok it's not really funny but it was amusing at that time.
Man, it's raining right now, hope the flight won't be delayed! I should've brought a magazine along to read or something.

2011-12-07T20:05:00.005+08:00

Just some photos of Orchard Road at night.
Hate the ridiculous blue flower (it isn't even related to Christmas! "Christmas blooms in Orchard"... seriously??) and the blue colour-scheme this year (though blue is my fave colour). If I were in charge of this year's decorations, I wouldn't condone a single thing that was displayed this year.
Oh well. Christmas is still my favourite festival of the year, my spirits instantly get lifted up when I hear Christmas soundtracks playing. And my Christmas fantasy is... oh I won't say it else it won't come true!
Well technically, it came true already, but that wasn't counted.

Anyways I went to Haji Lane for... 5 minutes today lol. Extremely brief visit with Jessie but I'm satisfied with 2 of the photos I took!

Time to explore grunge effects.

Have a great time guys! Can't wait to fly off to Thailand on Sunday :) :)

2011-12-05T10:37:00.001+08:00

I'm not those girls.

Who has a gorgeous smile.
Who has a stunning face.
Who has super long shiny hair.
Who has a perfect body.
Who attracts every guys eye.
Who a guy would stare at when walking down the streets.
Who gets over 100 notes whenever they post a new picture.

I’m not one of those girl. I have flaws and insecurities. I do get jealous. My self esteem does get lower when I see a girl prettier than me. I’m not one of those girls. I’m sorry, I’m not good enough.

When I first read this Tumblr post, I was nodding my head to every single sentence, finding some sort of comfort that many girls (this post has 44+k notes) feel the same way too... until I read the last paragraph and got a little pissed.
I’m obviously one of those girls. But I can’t stand it when they continue to wallow in self-pity for the rest of their life and refuse to do anything about it. Bitching and whining won’t make you feel prettier or stronger. It’ll only make you feel more depressed.
Really really can’t stand it when you apologise for not being good enough. Everyone’s good enough, but if you never get your ass up to change the situation of course then you’ll never be good enough.

Then I scrolled through all the notes to see if any girl had some sense to share the same sentiments as me... none of them did. Went to bed a little miffed because I thought some girls were stronger than that.

As I woke up this morning, other girls actually added on!

One girl wrote:

Do you guys really think that basking in your misery is going to transform you into some desirable sex object? Because it’s not. If you want people to think you’re great, you need to think it yourself. Look at me - I’m an ugly fuck, but I’ve got the most beautiful girlfriend ever, and even before that - I did okay in terms of ‘dating’.
Sitting online posting about how ugly you are is not going to result in people begging for your phone number. Get over it!

While another added:

Yeah, sure I’m not that kind of girl, but who gives a shit? What matters most is your heart, if you’re a slutty, proud bitch, there’s no point being pretty at all! We all have flaws, those kind of pretty girls too have their flaws, dont feel sorry for yourself if you’re not that kind of girl, be happy for who you are, that’s all.

That made me think. I used to think pretty girls got a few things easier (in terms of love and sometimes jobs), OK fine I still think so, but then will we reeeeally be happier if we were prettier? Will being pretty solve all our problems and insecurities? I don't think so! I've known many pretty girls who have had issues with their face, skinny girls who have had issues with their bodies (which in both cases, I think is really ridiculous)... so nope don't think that the world would be a happier place if everyone was pretty.
Then if everyone was pretty, no one would truly stand out.
Bottom line: You may be average-looking, but you can continue sitting there whining about your looks, or you can join Pink to raise your glass if you're wrong in all the right ways :D

Actually, even with all these self-help theories, they still don't stop you from desiring to be pretty right?

IKR. I think it's ok to want to be pretty, but it's not ok to be obsessively emo over it and brood over that fact for the rest of your lives.

2011-12-03T21:44:00.002+08:00

I'm sick of you being overambitious. You build so many castles in your head, and the worst thing is, you order other people to complete all your unrealistic dreams. I know you have big dreams, but you can't just barge in with all your majestic ideas without thinking everything through. Dude, you're hardworking and an achiever, but I'm tellin' ya, the sky ain't your limit and you won't go far in life.

2011-11-28T23:22:00.001+08:00

Today has been an insanely good day :D

I admit that I once found my job boring because of the lack of customers. The pay is average (but it's much better than my friend- he earns $20 per day packing birds nest), we have to memorize all the prices, and my colleagues are at least 2 generations apart from me... But I'm very very thankful.
I've grown fond of all the items in the shop, I've hit it off with all 3 of my colleagues (despite the obvious age gap and the different nationalities- one's from China, the other from Malaysia and my manager's from the Philippines) and when you learn to busy yourself by rearranging items on the shelves... Time really flies by! And then there's the feeling of satisfaction when you close a deal.
(this is me attempting to cheer myself up because my friend's gonna work in a famous fashion store where she's gonna be surrounded by hot guys all day long and she's paid $8.50/hour. I'd scream LIFE IS UNFAIR but I'm currently walking on moonshine, so I'm gonna let that bother me another day)

I guess you have to be content with what you have and derive happiness from whatever situation you're in. I'm thankful for my job and here's to great Christmas sales!!!

Oh ya 2 insanely friendly and polite gals are buying dresses from my blogshop, so I'm $10 richer!! Yes the dresses are dirt cheap, but I hardly wear them anymore. So I get a little bit of money while they get new clothes, so everyone's happy!
Can't wait to see them tomorrow :D

Is this blog post dripping with sugary sweetness and optimism or what?? Ok gonna catch some zzzzzzs before I wake up early for work tomorrow!

2011-11-28T13:12:00.001+08:00

I just had a thought.
I think self-absorbed people would make perfect couples!

Picture this.

Pretty girl: Y'know, so and so asked me for my number/ said I was pretty (for the zillionth time)
Average friend nods her head, rolls her eyes (for the zillionth time) and nurses the bitterness in her heart.

Pretty girl: Y'know, so and so asked me for my number/ said I was pretty!
Handsome boy: I know right! A similar thing happened to me...
AND THEY HIT IT OFF. Because they supposedly have had many such experiences, just with different people, they can TOTALLY empathize with one another, not make their average-looking friends feel bitter and sick of hearing the same old things that would never happen to them.

The world would be a happier place. I think I make a brilliant matchmaker.

2011-11-27T22:16:00.003+08:00

I can take proper bokeh now! OH JOY.
Bless you, Canon.

2011-11-26T12:41:00.001+08:00

Just found out the reason behind the closure of Cafe Galilee in Pasir Ris library.

Apparently, there's a new manager around here, and he felt that a library isn't a real library if a cafe is present here.

Hello, the cafe isn't right smack in the middle of the library. It is merely an extension. EXTENSION. And that is the most ridiculous theory I've ever heard.
So a flat chested girl isn't a girl because she has no boobs. And a fat guy isn't a real guy because he has moobs.

Whatever is running in his/ her head right now, I hope this sinks into the thick corporate head of his: when he demolishes the cafe, he's not robbing us patrons of a cafe. He's robbing some of us of our childhood memories. I grew up eating spaghetti here. He's robbing us of a place to STUDY. (even Macs has put up that tacky "no studying in restaurant premises" sign. FYI, you're no restaurant, you're a fast food CHAIN) He's robbing a place for families and friends to bond (had many crazy moments here with Kylie, Xin Xin, Vivian), because I know there's a group of auties who always gather at the same spot every Sunday to gossip. He's robbing so many opportunities. Someone put this thief to jail already!
And the manager, one I've grown quite fond of (pretty sure the feeling's vice versa, she knows I'm a regular), is going to be shifted to the cafe in Woodlands. WOODLANDS. And she lives in Pasir Ris! Might as well just send her over to Malaysia right?

I never thought this would ever happen. I envisioned bringing my children here, saying "this was where mummy used to study". (okay I made that up) But I do regret not knowing the employees I see so often better.

So what's next? Are you gonna shut down the cafe in Marine Parade library next? Are you going to to acquire every single cafe in Singapore till you're satisfied??

And I'll miss seeing the regular patrons too. Like I met my soul sister there. And there's always this intellectual Indian dude working here. And that tall quiet-looking nerd who always happens to sit near me.

2011-11-25T23:13:00.004+08:00

HEY GUYS HOW'S LIFE TREATIN' YA?
Things are looking up at work! Finally clicked with my colleagues (after one week, yeah socially awkward introverts have it tough like that), learnt some interesting things (so interesting here at Manhattan Portage!), memorised the catalogue and its prices (almost there) and I'm ready to rock the Christmas sales!
Who says Singapore doesn't have Black Friday sales, our store started having a 10% discount today :D

Oh ya I found out my personality type today. I'm phlegmatic, baby! Stupid MBTI isn't even accurate.
Gonna reply overdue emails, so many things have happened lately. ANYONE UP FOR A BITCHING/ CATCHING UP SESSION, just text me!

Lastly, please support

http://weareblacsg.tumblr.com
http://www.youtube.com/officialblac
http://weareblac.com
http://twitter.com/#!/WeAreBLAC
http://www.facebook.com/WeAreBLAC

2011-11-22T16:25:00.001+08:00

These were some interesting things written on the wall of Cafe Galilee in Pasir Ris library, apart from all the stupid usual Korean fangirls scribbles.

My Definition of Beauty

2011-11-21T20:21:00.003+08:00

Like I said, there are many gorgeous girls out there.
But if you ask me, how would you define a pretty girl?
I'll define it as someone who looks good with any hairstyle.

Hair can actually define a person's looks. I'm guessing many of the pretty girls out there have hair that flatters their looks, be it long or short.
I mean, look at Melanie Amaro.

Her curls were downright unflattering, but look at her now.

Flat hair + side swept fringe = two thumbs up!!
Of course the make-up plays a role too, but I'm telling you, hair is very important.

Many bombshell beauties look great with their thick long hair, but imagine if their hair was cut short. I think someone truly pretty would rock short hair as well as long hair.
I never really found Vanessa Hudgens that pretty, but obviously long hair flatters her more.

See the difference?

Of course the same applies for girls who naturally look good with short hair.
Take a look at Frankie Sandford-

Everyone dubs her the prettiest amongst The Saturdays (I beg to differ, it's definitely Una Healy. Unfortunately, she looks awful with choppy bangs. So I won't classify her a true beauty)
Moving on... look at her with shoulder length hair.

Her make-up is almost the same... but she only looks gorgeous with short hair.

Now for the true beauties (in my humble opinion) who can pull off all kinds of hairstyles is... Emma Watson, of course, and Dianna Agron.
With no fringe, with choppy bangs, with straight long hair, with curly long hair, with fringe pinned back, with wavy short hair... SHE LOOKS GOOD IN EVERYTHING.

Therefore people, I rest my case. Next time you think someone is pretty, try picturing her with a totally different hairstyle and see what you'll get.

The Beauty Test
If you want to go for something extreme, why not try shaving 2/5 of your head off?
I'm sure if you can look as good as Cher Llyod in With Ur Love with only 3/5 of your hair, it means you must be a true beauty.
Or you can try shaving your whole hair off. If you think you're a natural beauty, you don't need hair to further beautify yourself. Just shave it all off, and let us see your pretty face :D

That's what I plan to do, you know. Shave off all my hair and donate it to Hair for Hope. Not to mimic Britney Spears, not to prove myself to anyone... it's just something I want to do, before I die. It's definitely on my bucket list.

Haha what a weird blog post.

2011-11-19T09:46:00.000+08:00

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.
- Mistinguett (Jeanne Bourgeois)

2011-11-18T09:23:00.003+08:00

I LOVE THIS IMAGE :D

Ok gotta prepare for work soon. Working for 10 hours today!
Looking through countless Tumblr fashion photos gave me a... fashion awakening (???). Realised what kind of fall/ winter styles I actually love, but that requires TONS of money because you can't exactly find cheap, flattering blazers in Singapore.
I heard I gotta work 5 days a week, hope I'll still have enough time to study and to catch up with friends!
Ok gonna hit the showers now :)

2011-11-16T22:45:00.004+08:00

Guess who got a job at Manhattan Portage? :D
Starting work from 6pm onwards tomorrow at Slurplife, Bugis Junction. I could get used to working shifts again.

So I went to the Alliance Française de Singapour (French Alliance, Singapore) yesterday to catch a movie screening of Jacquot de Nantes, an entry for the 1991 Cannes Film Festival. Kellie had a spare ticket, and she chose to bring me. I'm touched :)
French would always be the language that got away, for me. I was THIS close to adopting it as a third language in secondary 1 but I felt that I would've quit halfway, so why join it in the first place? Now I'm left with regrets, but Kellie has always known I have a soft spot for it.
I thought the French Alliance would be this majestic, colonial style building with gold furnishings and chandeliers reflecting off shiny floor tiles. WRONG. It's this crumbling old building block, with stuffy air conditioning and cracked plaster on its walls.
Though the whole architecture of the building was disappointing, I felt like an immature 7 year old kid when we entered the cafeteria. There was an art gallery beside it, and the guests there looked like well-heeled clients, all dressed up in elegant dresses/ tux, sipping champagne out of clear wineglasses (ok, I'm exaggerating). But being surrounded by all the well dressed adults, I truly felt as if I was dropkicked to a ballroom at MBS instead of a run down building.

The movie was... a classic, I'll say. It's not the kind of movie I would watch in cinemas, because I'm not the kind of girl who appreciates artsy-fartsy stuff, like Black Swan. If I had known I would watch that movie (the movie they were supposed to screen was a rom-com)... I would've had second thoughts about attending.
I'm glad I went, though. Ok, I admit the idea of just falling asleep was appealing to me a little halfway throughout the film, I forced myself to stay awake throughout the film. Besides, the chairs were scratchy and creaky and low. Doubt I'd get some proper sleep there, even if I wanted to.

The film is a portrait of the making of an artist; recreating the early life of Varda's husband, Jacques Demy, in Occupied France and his obsession with the various crafts associated with film making, such as casting, set design, animation and lighting. The fictional sections set in wartime Nantes are matched with brief documentary interludes involving the dying Demy.

It's the typical kind of foreign film, where everyone's all huddled in an auditorium, before some opera song starts playing and the film starts off in an artistic way... depicting the protagonist as an old man (the REAL Demy) sitting sexily on a clear beach and gazing into the camera, before the scene changes to a nude painting of a female and a male.
There was opera throughout the whole movie, the scenes were cut very randomly and uncomfortably, but I loved the whole French culture. Especially when everyone starts breaking into a nice song (despite it being in a foreign language), and when they all dress up in their fancy French threads and make pie in a cosy French cottage.

What caught my attention, actually, was the INSANELY CUTE/ GOOD LOOKING CHILD ACTOR (then), Edouard Joubeaud. I'm tellin' ya, with looks like that, he truly is God's gift.

Ok I may have been admiring his features instead of paying full attention to the movie. I mean, LOOK AT ALL THAT FACE STRUCTURE. And the strong brows.

Can't find a flattering photo of him, but here's a picture depicting all the actors (he's the second from the left)

Love everything about him, from his thick brown hair to his thick eyebrows to his sexy eyes to his thin lips. Thank God he was featured for a long period in the show.
Before you call me a paedophile, let me remind you that the film was shot even before I was born. I did a mental calculation during the movie (guilty as charged), and he's old enough to be twice our age actually.
Scoured the web for a recent photo of him, and they came up with this:

Ehhh.... so so la. You can still see the resemblance, but I'm convinced that it ain't a flattering shot of him. He probably charmed/ charms all the Frenchies working with him.

F.Y.I, the movie got screened out of the film festival. I don't wonder why.

Fearless vs Stupid

2011-11-13T20:19:00.002+08:00

Sat down with Kylie today, and she revealed that she was turning 18 in a few months time. She wanted to do fearless things building up to her 18th birthday, so we were brainstorming on things to do.
I actually wanted this year to be a milestone year for me, because I've always felt 17 was a nice number. Better than 18, better than the lame sweet 16. Even Seventeen magazine's tagline is, "It's fun to be seventeen". But come to think of it, since I'm a December kid, this is actually my 16th year. Whatevs.
I did many notable things this year to make it count. Shan't name any of them. But we both know that something is missing, and we know what. So we've got till the end of this year to achieve something/ do something fearless (love-related). And I've got 5 weeks to achieve what I want for Christmas.
Wishes can't be granted to you every single time. You gotta make things happen.
Of course we want things to "take the natural course" and let life do its job but HECK IT I'm an impatient person and I'm tired of waiting for things that may never happen.

But as I told Trisca, there is a fine line between fearless and stupid. You can cross the line anytime. Sure, it can be cool to do something extreme, but you may always cross over to the "stupid" side should things go wrong.

So anyway I had a darn good dream a few days ago. I was so disappointed when I woke up!
No, it's not one of those dreams where you and your crush travel the world together and you wake up with a big cheesy grin on your face. I only had that kind of dream once in the past year, and I can't remember shit about it.
But that night's dream was golden.

I dreamt that... Singapore's city lights rocked.
Yeh, I'm a sucker for night lights. I adore all those tumblr picts depicting city life, fast cars, street lamps, bokeh... at night.
I guess I've always wanted to experience Tokyo/ NYC/ Paris/ Vancouver at night.
So I dreamt that I was whizzing along the expressway in a fast car, towards Vivocity. And of all the glory of glories, my mind invented all sorts of modern buildings, lit up vibrantly against the night sky.
The best part of the dream, the one that I can still remember vividly, was that there was a condo shaped into the Eiffel Tower! The lights were brilliant and I swear there were fireworks in the sky.
Blah but dreams will be dreams, though I've always fantasised about the "whiz around the city in a fast car at night" scenario.

Oh ya and there was one time I dreamt that the sky was cosmic 24/7. I remember waking up in my dingy little Pasir Ris flat, and VIOLA! The sky looked like this:

I remember being very exhilarated in my dream.

Heard that Zac Efron was at ION just now.
Damn damn damn of all times to choose not to go to ION whenever I go to Orchard, I had to choose TODAY. Seriously, the chances were like 1 in 15. I NEVER do that. But we chose to skip it and head directly to Ngee Ann city.
WHY OH WHY?
I guess it's fated.

I guess I'll just be happy if I get to go to Orchard and gaze at the big Christmas tree at Ngee Ann City, before going to Kinokuniya to read books. And I'm contented with just heading to Raffles Quay on New Year's Eve (prolly after watching New Year's Eve, the film) to catch the fireworks.

[edit]
To all my readers who never touch my Cbox:

[/edit]

2011-11-11T23:13:00.008+08:00

I seriously believe that good things come when you least expect them.
I had zero expectations for today. Frankly, I expected going home early after catching up with Deon for max 4 hours, then blogging a very bitter blog post about 11/11/11.
I can't even remember what I did at 11:11 today. I was probably tuning into my iPod, heading to school.

Anyway, I had a KICK-ASS AWESOME day with Deon today. He has been my best guy friend since idk-how-long.
I guess what makes him stand out is that
1) I feel totally at ease with him
2) He's spontaneous
3) We love walking
We decided to head to Haw Par Villa after having lunch at Macs, and from Haw Par Villa we went to Tanjong Pagar to check out the railway station. But it was closed, so we walked to The Pinnacle @ Duxton, which is really swanky. Afterwards we headed to Urban Redevelopment Authority, which was interesting... probably if you took geog. Then we went to the Little Red Dot musuem before going for dinner at Tanjong Pagar market. Then we wanted to walk to the city, but we walked the wrong way initially towards Vivo. Finally we walked past Lau Par Sat, found our way to Raffles Quay, where I spammed night shots before walking towards MBS, along the Helix Bridge to the Esplanade where we watched the water/ light show at MBS. Then we took the train home.
Well, we walked pretty far yesterday. They were all on foot, except for the journey from Haw Par Villa to Tanjong Pagar. We walked around 9km? My knees hurt while Chan's heels hurt... but I seriously dig trekking. Just walking around, making spontaneous decisions, heading to the wrong direction at times.... I'm not the kind if person that would complain. To me, that makes life kinda breathtaking? Not following things according to plan.
And the highlight of the night was the view of the city skyline from Raffles Quay. The best freaking view ever. Gorgeous with a capital G. I was practically squealing, fangirling (over lights), jumping, spamming night shots and amusing the hell out of Chan. I've always loved night lights, and found Singapore's one pretty decent... until I viewed them from a different angle at Raffles Quay. Of course Singapore's lights are kinda measly compared to that of NYC's... but they're still breathtaking. I feel like a Single Girl in the Big City.
Let me tell you, my friends, that kind of night lights is seriously 11/11/11 material.

As you can tell from now, this will be a wordy post... but who cares?? Time to commemorate a Friday well-spent.

Haw Par Villa was disappointing. I expected something more scary, but the sculptures were kind of lame/ ugly. The only thrilling part was when Chan dragged me to an underground cave with RATS. Because of the fear of the unknown, I was afraid there were bats inside/ rats that would scuttle past me, but I'm fine! Emerged out of there in one piece.

The Little Red Dot museum had this 11/11/11 festival, so there was a flea-market inside the museum itself. They were selling their items @ $11 each, but we were mainly more fascinated by the exhibits there. So much potential that would make our lives easier, if they were mass-manufactured. Felt a little underdressed there though, everyone was dressed decently while I felt frumpy in our school-based shirt.

As we were finding our way to Raffles Place, we saw the ERP gantry. It switches off at 8pm, and by that time it was 7.58pm already. Then I pointed out to Chan that there were actually people parking nearby, waiting for the time to be 8 o'clock before driving through it! True enough, the moment it turned 8pm, they started their engines and drove through it. Cheapskates 4 life. That's what I'd do, too.

Passed by Lau Par Sat briefly... we should've ate there! The architecture is gorgeous, and they had this night market event where they closed a road to set up roadside stalls. Saw a girl channelling her inner Adele when she performed with a live band there. She sang Someone Like You. While I appreciate Adele's great talent and vocals, she is seriously overplayed.

After that, I was telling Chan my requirements for an ideal boyfriend. He actually fits quite a few requirements, interests-wise.

THEN WE REACHED THE CITY. What a glorious sight. I could practically hear opera music playing at the back of my head. I was absolutely stunned by the view. I have found the #1 spot for dating, the #1 place I would go on New Year's Eve. It's Raffles Quay, people. Bring your girlfriend there, melt her heart, and she'd be willing to do anything for you.
There were many couples there last night. PDA 101. They were all sucking each other's faces off, and I was like, "get a room, people!" But I think you're permitted to do it, since the backdrop of the city skyline is breathtaking. It'll make nice couple shots on Tumblr.
If you've just lost the l'amour de ta vie (love of your life) or something, DO NOT go to Raffles Quay. Especially on a significant day like 11/11/11. The things you'll see there would turn your stomach inside out and burn the back of your eyes.

As we walked from Raffles Quay to the outside of MBS to the area outside the Esplanade to watch the water/ light shows, there were just couples and more couples..
Hmmm I'm pretty sure a few couples broke up there that day.
And Chan pointed out Venus to me! It happened that the moon was gloriously full, bright and unhidden by any clouds. There appeared to be a very bright star beside it, "too bright" to be a star, claimed Deon. So it's either Venus or an obscenely huge, bright satellite.
I obviously choose to believe it's Venus :D

Canon is a very good brand but it does no justice to night shots.
Photos are up on fb, but I'm editing the night shots and posting them here :)
Enjoy!

Random light shots:

Can you believe some of these buildings are even from Singapore?? I feel as if I emerged from Tokyo or something. They're about 10000x more breathtaking in real life, trust me.
Oh, and I think I found my dream house.

Which reminds me... time to watch The One That Got Away music video! Missed it yesterday.

[edit]
Blah it was disappointing. I mean, I understand the whole rationale behind it, it's so sweet that a part of her would always love the One that got away...
but the music video is so predictable. The car crash was a little lame, if you ask me.
[/edit]

DISAPPOINTMENT

2011-11-10T19:39:00.002+08:00

To me, what made Chris Renee so endearing was his humility. When he first went onto X Factor, I think he stood out because of his drug-addiction past, his career as a garbage collector... and the grateful look on his face when he got into the first round.
But God, look at him at the latest show. I think the whole stage couldn't fit his puffed up ego. I hated all the weird show off-ish actions he did. BLAH I totally lost my respect for the dude. I know he's climbing his way to the top and all, but he should've remained grounded.
I don't think I was the only one who could tell the change in his attitude, and I think he lost a few fans.
I still love the X Factor though :D The performances were amazing last night! Got all starry-eyed at Melanie Amaro's performance. Look what make-up and a good hairstylist can do to you. She looks GORGEOUS.

Well... anyway tomorrow's THE DAY. It's 11/11/11 people!
How many of us are actually hoping something special will happen to you tomorrow?
Pretty sure 9 out of 10 people desperately do.
Yeah yeah you probably won't admit it to yourself, but you're probably gonna hold your breath at 11:11 11/11/11. Even if you're telling yourself, "I'm not gonna catch it on purpose" you STILL want and wish and hope that something magical would happen.
Of course magical wondrous things would happen to people tomorrow. Some guy's gonna confess his undying love for a girl, and they're gonna be the happiest couple of the hour. And of course, I'm pretty sure many people around the world are planning to commit suicide tomorrow ^^ Afterall, what a glorious date for something bombastic to happen!
Yes, I'm like the Grinch. I destroy hopes and dreams and I make little girls cry.
How many of us are gonna wait and wait and wish that our crush will MAGICALLY start talking to us tomorrow? How many of us are waiting for confessions... that probably won't happen tomorrow?
Ok of course some good things will happen. Probably to all my close friends because they're all blessed like that. But I'm feeling pretty nasty and cynical tonight. And it's not that I'm not gonna admit it to myself... but I'm not gonna have any hopes for tomorrow.
It'll be totally normal for me. Just gonna go to school, hand in my I&R, catch up with old friends, then rush home to watch The One That Got Away music video. Which annoyingly resembles We Found Love.

There are too many females out there wishing for the perfect fairytale scenarios tomorrow. You need someone harshly realistic to douse a pail of cold water over their pretty little heads in space and bring them back to earth.

In fact, what's making me really happy about tomorrow is that I'll get to sleep in. And the day would really be perfect if
1) It doesn't rain
2) The weather isn't so hot like these few days
3) Someone buys something on my blogshop
I don't need a confession to make me happy. If these 3 things are fulfilled... I'll be the happiest girl in the world.

I want the sky

2011-11-09T20:00:00.003+08:00

I’m ready, ready to run free
I’d like to know what lies beyond the blue sea
You live once, so drink the honey
I learn my lessons from the birds and the bees

I want the sky to open wide
Illuminate this fire inside
I want the sky

These buildings, high above me
Are so much taller than the pictures I’ve seen
I don’t got a lot of money
But I got you and baby that’s all I need

Time to appreciate simple but meaningful lyrics and tunes, and acknowledge obscure singers. This ain't my usual type of song- I usually go for The Superficial with catchy tunes, like Dirty Dancer and Dancing Tonight.
Dear Lucy Schwartz, you've put my (often incoherent) thoughts and feelings into under 80 words. GOOD JOB. You deserve a Grammy.

[edit]
My Tumblr is getting A LOT MORE action than this space.
Let me know if you want the URL :)
[/edit]

2011-11-08T13:54:00.002+08:00

How many times do we see this, feel inspired, but do absolutely nothing about it?
On the other hand, my life is so boring there's hardly any risks to take anyway. It's not like those movies where I take a solo trip to India to rediscover myself spiritually. And I'm not the kind of girl sought after by a million guys, where the risk would be me taking the leap of faith and falling for the "bad boy". And it's not like those American movies where I'm underaged and go to a frat party to make out with college dudes.
Arrgh I feel like I'm constantly stuck in a rut. I need some inexpensive FUN. It's like I need a weekly dose of Halloween Horror Nights... but here I am, in the library, doing my third draft of I&R and revisiting FAQs for OP.

I'm such a nerd. But not the no-life, constantly boring, stuck-at-home gaming nerd. I'm a happy nerd... who needs excitement.

2011-11-04T20:30:00.005+08:00

I love Fridays.

I seem to always head out to town on Friday afternoons, and then spend my Friday nights very meaningfully since I can sleep in on Saturdays :) By "meaningful", I mean things that relax my mind... so nope, not revising Y5 topics yet.
Tonight, I'm gonna read FML/ TIME/ H&M and Topshop catalogues, tumblr, watch Morning Glory, finish a Susan Mallery book, decorate my room and practise OP. So much to do, so little time. I don't think I'm an overachiever though, the night is still young!

I'm thinking, maybe I should camp at Kinokuniya every Friday or something. I would save money buying imported mags and just spend 1 hour reading them there. I learnt a bit of Spanish and a few fun facts on psychology yesterday... bookstores are my soul's chicken soup.

I wish I could learn The Art of Cheering People Up or something. I'm thankful for all my friends who always attempt to cheer me up. And their attempts are always more-or-less fruitful.

Ok gonna get started on my long to-do list for the night!

[edit]
When I grow up, I want to still be friends with my best friend, and be that awesome adult that her kids love."
I guess you can know when someone's being polite/ returning a favour or when someone genuinely cares for you. I may be #foreveralone and be the kind of woman who has 100 cats in her apartment... but I acknowledge all genuine efforts :D
I appreciate everyone who has been there for me (esp these few hellish OP days) and I don't think I deserve some of them. OK REST ON PRIVATE BLOG.
[/edit]

2011-11-04T10:43:00.003+08:00

IT'S COMING.

1 day after my OP... hmmm what should I do to make it count?
And I think it's really cool that the sisters in my church all have our OP on the same day AT THE SAME TIME this year. Perhaps it's foreshadowing that we'll all get our As :D

2011-11-03T20:29:00.003+08:00

One sentence to describe my reaction to #adelynhosehbo:
I don't know what I should feel more appalled at- kids slapping their mum, or kids publicising and boasting about the act. #famewhores

2011-11-02T20:48:00.002+08:00

TAKE THIS LOLLIPOP
This site is seriously cool. Don't back out halfway and turn up your speakers :D
Not for the easily spooked.

2011-10-30T16:05:00.003+08:00

I was tumblr-ing (people call it tumbling), and this thought came to my mind.

There are TONS of pretty girls out there in the world. TONS. Especially on tumblr- it's depressing. Hot faces. Hot bodies. Great fashion sense.
The prettiest girl in school can be proud of her looks, but when it comes to the real world... wow. You're just another face in a sea of pretty faces, tan sinewy bodies in great clothes.
I guess what every girl wants to be is drop-dead gorgeous, but... why do we want another addition to the throngs of girls out there? So what if you have a sharper nose/ face, bigger eyes and a megawatt smile? Ultimately, you really have nothing to be proud of. So many Victoria Secret angels have it already. Even Taylor Swift looks gorgeous some days.
I think we girls should all change our mindsets. Be proud of something not many people have, instead of something that can be mass-manufactured and seen all around tumblr.

Like sharp wit. Natural charisma. Think of things/ theories others have never thought of. Influence people with your ideas and change the world, one mindset at a time.

Same goes for guys too. You don't have to be a natural athlete- why try so hard to fit in when you can stand out?
Like last time, all the "girlier" guys- dudes who loved fashion and preferred hanging out with girls as platonic best friends, were labelled as losers. Now? They're worshipped everywhere as fashion designers, and EVERY It Girl in America wants a "gay best friend" by her side. The times are changing, my friends.
We should no longer stick to stereotypes and appearances.

2011-10-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

"He’s got looks that books take pages to tell, he’s got a face to make you fall on your knees."
I've not met any dude who falls into this description yet... but I'm pretty sure when you crush on someone, you can write 378947875456 words about how good he looks, even when we all know how average he actually is.

So anyway the highlight of this post is... Halloween Horror Nights 2011!
It was less scary than I thought it would be. I thought I'd be haunted by the images/ lose my voice completely after screaming 8745676 times/ rooted to the ground because I'm too scared to walk/ pee in my pants/ break down crying/ huddle in a corner... but none of that happened.

Of course I did my fair share of screaming at the "Vengeance of the Matriarch" attraction. You must either have balls of steel or be blind if you didn't scream at all. The thing about that "haunted" house is that the route is just too long. Oh ya and there were dead "bodies" hanging from the ceiling so you have to walk (instead of being rooted onto the ground cuz you're too scared to continue walking in that pitch black place) and come into contact with those bodies by pushing them aside.
Ok these were the scenic spots in the "Vengeance of the Matriarch" house:
1) Creepy old woman staring at you when you enter the house
2) Creepy lady sitting on a chair staring at you
3) Creepy old man lying on a bed
4) Creepy man eating humans' heads for dinner
5) Dead bodies hanging from the ceiling
6) Creepy man suspended by a chain, "flying" around scaring people
7) Faux photoframes that reveal creepy people
8) Creepy sound track
9) Creepy pitch-black place with fog
10) MANY random people running out to "boo" you

The Western haunted house version was less scary and more lame, but I still screamed nonetheless.

Now I present you: Survival Tips to get through the night
1) Do not go alone. Zombies in "Post-Apocalyptic Rage"/ "The Void" LOVE scaring lone rangers. There was once Eileen and Trisca went on their merry little journey without me and I had to walk through a thick fog all by myself. Stupid zombie jumped right in front of me out of the mist and gave me the shock of my life.
2) Get ready to be a laughingstock Zombies would just run to/ after you out of nowhere. Yup, you could be walking and suddenly some bloody dude carrying a human leg would run after you. That was what happened to a girl... she totally screamed, jumped 5 feet, and ran 10 miles in the opposite direction. EVERYONE had a good laugh. And there was a time a mummy ran after this small girl and she ran back to her mama. I was also made a laughingstock when a zombie suddenly "boo"ed me and I exclaimed, "OHMYGOD!" and people around me started laughing.
3) Be aware of your surroundings. You won't be safe at any corner cuz zombies would be roaming the streets everywhere. They're wearing plain clothes so you'd think they were just visitors, until you see their faces and get the shock of your life. Or you could be just standing still with your friend, looking through photos in your camera. A zombie would then go in between both of you and stick his head in the middle so when you two turn around... Merry Christmas.
4) Being friendly doesn't pay. I tried chatting up the zombies. Like "do you guys wear contact lenses" or "are you a dancer?" or "good day". We even thanked them after posing for photos... but they had to play their part and ignore us. Ungrateful actors. We SUPPLIED your income okay.

Yesterday, I was thinking- who actually conceptualised how a zombie would look like? Like the weird actions, the hollowed faces, the white eyes...
And don't be tricked by the photos thinking everything looks so fake and you would be a daredevil spamming photos with all those actors. I'm tellin ya, there ARE very scary images out there, and sometimes you wouldn't dare to stand too close to them.
Like this guy over here.

We would've joined him by sitting down on the floor but he terrorised the female who took a photo with him before us.... so we maintained our distance.

This guy over here is a real actor. Not some prop. I know some gals are afraid of clowns, and it was unnerving stepping close to that face.

We were photobombed... by a zombie.

One moment we were taking a photo with the female zombie, the next moment the male zombie appeared beside Grace and screamed. Grace very calmly asked him, "Hi, would you like to take a photo?"

We saw Miss Chew with her fiancé.

I wonder how long she lasted there...

You want a piece of me?

The event was from 8pm-12am, and at first I was thinking, which idiot would go there and get scared for 4 hours straight?
But yeah we queued up for The Mummy (very cool effects) and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: CYCLONE :D
Can you imagine this: rollercoaster. Front row seats. AT NIGHT. The night view was FABULOUS, especially when we all turned upside down and saw the whole theme park lit up beneath us. GORGEOUS AND BREATHTAKING. I was mindblown when it was over.
The company was great and the experience, fabulous. Money was well spent! :D

Lastly... I wouldn't go there with my boyfriend. I think.
I know after a zombie scared this young lady in a white tank, she immediately cried in her boyfriend's arms (see, not for the faint-hearted).
Still, I know whenever I go into a haunted house, there must DEFINITELY be a guy walking in front of me.
I remember walking in the Peranakan haunted house. Everybody behind me was sticking close to each other/ pushing me and plain SCREAMING. I remember half laughing/ screaming with Eileen cuz the group of guys behind us were HYSTERICAL. And I remember slamming into the guy in front of me a lot because of the group behind pushing. I apologised a lot to him and he just turned back and smiled many times. I think he learnt his lesson- never walk in front of a bunch of teenage girls in a haunted house.
On the other hand, if he was younger, single, taller and hotter, it would make the perfect movie scene. Walking into a scary place and bumping into a stranger many times? Totally romantic but cliched plot. I would have found love in the most unique place, ever.
But there's a reason why they're called "fairytale situations". Now I'm back to reality and the only person I'm spending quality time with is my PW group.

2011-10-27T23:37:00.001+08:00

What is it about some people that affect us so much/ the most?
They don't even need to be our best friends. They don't need to be our crushes or people we're interested in. They don't need to be popular or good looking. They don't even get to penetrate deep into our soul... but they just get access to our thoughts. Somehow.

I think pride is something that has the potential to change our lives. Our pride prevents us from doing so many things. I'm pretty sure phrases like "the one that got away" were derived from pride. I think sometimes you let someone go/ things go... because of your pride.
Or your pride tells you to wait for the other party to make the first move, else you'll end up looking like a loser. What if the other party's pride was telling him/ her the same thing too? Then no one would ever make a move, and everyone would end up a loser.
Think of all the things that COULD HAVE happened. All the wasted opportunities.

It's THE TIME OF THE MONTH where depressing thoughts start plaguing your mind and you can't get rid of them. You start second-guessing everything and make out every situation to be "the worst that can happen". I was in a pretty crazy (in a bad way) mood just now, but after having a Gossip Girl marathon, I just feel... numb.
Maybe this is the best "mood" to continue editing your OP script. Met up for PW every. single. day. for the past week, since Sunday. I can practically memorise the whole WR already.

Oh well. Just had a video-chat over msn with Kellie, and talking to genuinely happy people makes me happy :)
And I'm quite appalled at how Gossip Girl has turned out. Blair Waldorf, pregnant? I'm not digging the whole Charlie Rhodes addition...
But I love the part where Dan renamed "Chuck Bass" to "Charlie Trout". OHMYGOD I laughed out loud at the "trout" part. And watching episode 4 has inspired me to get my books published, for real.

[edit]
I've started thinking about the phrase "trust works both ways".
I open up really easily to people. I really do. Once I open up, BAM you'll get hit with a lot of my personal thoughts. Problems. Analyses. Everything.
But I hate it when I give people my all, and people don't give me theirs. I know it's unreasonable cuz some people like to keep their thoughts private BLAH BLAH BLAH, but it hurts when you share it with other friends and not with me. It really makes you wonder how important you really are to others as a friend.
Yes I am judgemental, hotheaded and jumping to conclusions is my instinct. But I'm a realist and I hate it when people sugarcoat or beat about the bush. If you don't want to say anything, say it to my face.
And I find it unreasonable why people want to know about my problems and my thoughts, get under my skin... and then hide things from me. I feel all naked and exposed and vulnerable.
What hurts the most? I know every single one of my close friends do that to me, so this is not a personal attack to anyone. I've gotten so used to this feeling, I forget it even exists. But then reality hits, and you realise everyone is doing the same thing to you.
I feel like Chuck Bass right now. Someone please whisk me to upper east side already.
Goodnight world.
[/edit]

2011-10-25T21:10:00.003+08:00

3 things running through my mind tonight.

1) I don't deserve some things
2) You don't deserve my melancholy
3) It is incredibly stupid to assume dramas would distract you from your thoughts

Oh well, when light-hearted drama fails, there's always light-hearted chick flicks. Next stop: Monte Carlo.

2011-10-24T22:46:00.001+08:00

I got my new laptop WOOHOO :D
I'm really thankful that my aunt helped me purchase it and configure everything... don't know what I can do without her help man.
I LOVE doing all the admin work to it, like saving login details for all my social-media accounts, saving bookmarks, syncing music to iTunes...
And Eileen offered to spam photobooth pictures for my desktop wallpaper, but I was thinking of something more abstract-ish. Anyway this is going to be a boring post about my very boring life, and I wouldn't let pictures go to waste:

Speaking of pictures, my new webcam is DA BOMBZ. I don't have the habit of camwhoring by myself, but it has really cool functions which me and Eileen explored this morning. Face detector/ motion sensor, cool backgrounds/frames, neoprint functions... Gonna bring my laptop to school tomorrow, so if you guys are bored and want some fun, DROP BY AND ADMIRE THE WEBCAM.

So these few days have been PW and PW and more PW...
If I were to sum "suffering" in one word, I'm gonna term it "PW". Cliche, I know, but I'm pretty sure people have made many insults of PW, and I'm too lazy to think of a creative insult.
I really should be doing PW part II, but I arrived home at 9.30pm after braving the crowds in the MRT WITH an empty stomach (no dinner), so THIS GIRL DESERVES A BREAK.

I'm going to Halloween Horror Nights @ USS this Friday! I CAN'T WAIT.
The news said that the characters looked believable, it made many people cry/ pee in their pants... and since I'm no daredevil, I admit I was a little unnerved.
But I decided to browse through Youtube vids for the making of HNN. It keeps me grounded and reminds me that those things ain't real, and it's comical seeing people spasm-ing while acting as zombies.
There goes my secret of not fearing things like this. I thought the human caterpillar was lame after watching behind-the-scenes videos and interviews.

The school's generally pitch dark after 7.30pm.
I wanted to go to the toilet (TMI, I know, but...) but the freaking corridor was pitch black! PITCH BLACK. I wasn't afraid of the spookies, but it seemed like it stretched on FOREVER and my night vision ain't that fantastic, so I decided to ask Eileen to accompany me to the toilet. (gay, but not as gay as people accompanying others to the toilet from the auditorium before/during/after lectures in broad DAYLIGHT)
Eileen: Eh Ms Soh I accompany Celeste to the toilet horh. This girl afraid to go there alone.
-I get super defensive and mortified-
Ms Soh: Oh wait! I also want to go toilet. Let's go together.
FUNNY RIGHT. Funny, no? Ok things aren't generally funny unless you were there at that moment. 3 grown up gals going to the toilet at night...
At it seems that someone SMOKED in the female toilet, cuz there was cigarette ash on the cubicle floor. If it was a Dunmanian, hmmmm...
We feel really sorry for Ms Soh, preparing 2 PW classes for OP and for the more problematic ones, WR (still). We decided that if opportunity knocks, we would treat her to lunch! Swensens 1-for-1 lunch (I learnt of its existence TODAY):D

Sadly all good things must come to an end; PW beckons me.
I'm redoing the WHOLE target situation amongst other things, I just hope I get decent/ quality sleep tonight.
At least WR would be finalised tomorrow, and there's the satisfaction of seeing something you slogged for on PAPER.

2011-10-20T22:37:00.001+08:00

So today's the last day of school, but it didn't feel that way.

I think everyone in my class would be promoted (woohoo) and I don't know why but I'm pretty satisfied with my results.
Remember one of the previous blog posts where I said I was a top-scorer in primary school? I know things are different now and all the bloody geniuses have started emerging, but I know I'm also not the kind of person satisfied with a couple of Bs.
I mean, of course I can get into university, and I'm not aiming for those hotspots like medicine and law. But still... it's depressing when you're stuck amongst the averages. You're hoping there would be something defining about you, something that makes you stand out from the rest, but you realise you're left with nada.
I mean, I don't have anything to be proud of. I'm not exceptionally good in any subjects (though GP surprised me pleasantly and I'm faring pretty fine for history, but our school's ranking for history SUCKS), I have no external talents to boast of- I'm a has-been for piano and I'm mediocre in guitar. I don't excel in sports (though I love playing racket sports with Nicole, my sports buddy hehe)...
Oh by the way, history would be a 6 hour long paper for 'A' levels. 8 essays in total, my brain would explode with information but at least I'll have knowledge of what's happening/ what happened in the political world.

Anyway... I'm thinking of studying SEA in university! Crazy right, I don't even know what I can do with it- be a history teacher??
I'm not even all that passionate about history, of course I love the subject, but if you ask me to choose between The History of Communism or a psycho crime book, um pass the Lisa Jackson book over, please.
I want to study media too, it's my lifesaver for GP. My lowest score whenever I write media essays is... pretty high, so I guess it's a sign, right?
But then it leads me to think, what am I doing in JC then, when my counterparts are learning media in their poly courses already? And how can I contribute in the world of media??
So the 2 courses I'm most interested in- not prestigious and hardly useful. Ok somebody enlighten me, please??
I'm interested in liberal arts too, but I suspect it's because then I can delay choosing what I want to specialise in.

You see, many JCs students now are split into 2 categories.
Category 1: Know exactly what they want and are doing whatever it takes to achieve that.
Category 2: (aka Category Me) Panicking and screaming, "WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME GROW UP SO FAST??" Let me enjoy my youth, sheesh. Who chooses their careers at 17, anyway?? Crazy society- let's just move to New Zealand and rear cows.

Ok back to WR. My class is officially one of the slowest few classes, so we're gonna slog through Deepavali and have prata for breakfast.

2011-10-18T21:02:00.001+08:00

I chanced upon an article last night.
It's about a 17 year old girl named Furuta Junko, who was kidnapped and then tortured by a few guys in unimaginable ways, before dying 44 days later.
I'm just gonna post the torture she underwent below.
Disclaimer: It's very detailed. Don't read if you get spooked easily.

DAY 1: November 22, 1988: Kidnapped
Kept captive in house, and posed as one of boy’s girlfriend
Raped (over 400 times in total)
Forced to call her parents and tell them she had run away
Starved and malnutritioned
Fed cockroaches to eat and urine to drink
Forced to masturbate
Forced to strip in front of others
Burned with cigarette lighters
Foreign objects inserted into her vagina/anus

DAY 11: December 1, 1988: Severely beat up countless times
Face held against concrete ground and jumped on
Hands tied to ceiling and body used as a punching bag
Nose filled with so much blood that she can only breath through her mouth
Dumbbells dropped onto her stomach
Vomited when tried to drink water (her stomach couldn’t accept it)
Tried to escape and punished by cigarette burning on arms
Flammable liquid poured on her feet and legs, then lit on fire
Bottle inserted into her anus, causing injury

DAY 20: December10, 1989: Unable to walk properly due to severe leg burns
Beat with bamboo sticks
Fireworks inserted into anus and lit
Hands smashed by weights and fingernails cracked
Beaten with golf club
Cigarettes inserted into vagina
Beaten with iron rods repeatedly
Winter; forced outside to sleep in balcony
Skewers of grilled chicken inserted into her vagina and anus, causing bleeding

DAY 30: Hot wax dripped onto face
Eyelids burned by cigarette lighter
Stabbed with sewing needles in chest area
Left nipple cut and destroyed with pliers
Hot light bulb inserted into her vagina
Heavy bleeding from vagina due to scissors insertion
Unable to urinate properly
Injuries were so severe that it took over an hour for her to crawl downstairs and use the bathroom
Eardrums severely damaged
Extreme reduced brain size

DAY 40: Begged her torturers to “kill her and get it over with”

January 1, 1989: Junko greets the New Years Day alone
Body mutilated
Unable to move from the ground

DAY 44: January 4, 1989
The four boys beat her mutilated body with an iron barbell, using a loss at the game of Mah-jongg as a pretext. She is profusely bleeding from her mouth and nose. They put a candle’s flame to her face and eyes.
Then, lighter fluid was poured onto her legs, arms, face and stomach, and then lit on fire. This final torture lasted for a time of two hours.
Junko Furuta died later that day, in pain and alone. Nothing could compare 44 days of suffering she had to go through.

For everything she went through, even her death was prolonged.
It makes me feel really sick knowing that things like this happen in real life. It's not some lameass human caterpillar or Final Destination film. Things like this do happen... I can't even fathom the level of pain she must have felt through everything. This is the epitome of inhumane- you can't imagine it happening to animals, more so to humans. I can't even describe how I felt after reading that (the article was accompanied by pictures which were very graphic. her whole body was burnt and her eyes....)
And the murderers? The maximum term faced (the leader) was a mere 17 years. The shortest was 3 years and one guy had the cheek to go bragging about how he was part of the gang that tortured the girl. Bastards. This is where the debate on capital punishment comes in... so what if they were juveniles? They forwent their rights to life the moment they chose to perpetrate such harm on an innocent victim. JUSTICE WASN'T SERVED. In times like this, we need a Dark Knight, unbound by state laws, to give them what they truly deserve- death. After approximately 6 months of torture.
It also makes me realise how insignificant our problems are, and how precious life is.

That's not the end of all the gruesome murder cases. I still have others... which is less detailed but equally gross. I swear, it puts the lame Human Caterpillar/ Centipede film TO SHAME.
And most of these cases happen in Japan. Hmmmmmm. Just sayin'.
Ok. Murder case 2... I present Tsutomu Miyazaki.

Between 1988 and 1989, Miyazaki mutilated and killed four girls, aged between four and seven, and sexually molested their corpses. He drank the blood of one victim and ate a part of her hand.
During the day, Miyazaki was a mild-mannered employee. Outside of work, he randomly selected children to kill. He terrorized the families of his victims, sending them letters recalling in graphic detail what he had done to their children. To the family of victim Erika Nanba, Miyazaki sent a morbid postcard assembled using words cut out of magazines: "Erika. Cold. Cough. Throat. Rest. Death."
He allowed the corpse of his first victim, Mari Konno, to decompose in the hills near his home, then chopped off the hands and feet, which he kept in his closet. They were recovered upon his arrest. He charred her remaining bones in his furnace, ground them into powder, and sent them to her family in a box, along with several of her teeth, photos of her clothes, and a postcard reading: "Mari. Cremated. Bones. Investigate. Prove."
-Wikipedia

Bloody hell. Psycho to the max.

Next, I bring you to Hong Kong, where the Hello Kitty Murder took place.

Fan Man-yee, a 23 year old club hostess was kidnapped by three men because she owed them some money. They planned to put her to work as a prostitute, but had too much fun torturing her instead. They beat her when they were bored. Sometimes they made her smile and laugh while she was being beaten, and if she didn’t do so, they threatened to kill her. Between them they found a use for almost every appliance and condiment.
They set drinking straws alight, held down Fan and dripped melted plastic on the soles of her feet until her skin blistered and oozed pus. When they tired of that, they lit her feet directly, then beat them with a stick.
Chilli oil was poured on her wounds, oyster sauce thrown on her face.
She was made to drink oil.
She was beaten with water pipes. She was beaten with metal bars.
Often the men would piss on her face or into her mouth, beating her when she failed to swallow their urine.
Sometimes, when there was nothing on TV, they would string her up with electrical wire, hang her from a hook on the ceiling and beat her with iron bars. Then, having grown bored, they would leave her hanging there overnight.
Towards the end of Fan’s life she would be left to drift in and out of consciousness either on the floor or tied up while her tormentors went off to play video games.
She died overnight in March 1999. Her corpse was cut up and her head was boiled down to a skull and then sewn into a Hello Kitty mermaid doll.
- http://tunagobbler.tumblr.com/post/3626936533/the-hello-kitty-murder-the-hello-kitty-murder-is

Thirteen year old, Melody told the court: “They beat her all the time . . . They beat her when they were bored. They beat her for laughs.”
From time to time the 14-year-old would join in. Despite saying she liked Ah Map and got on well with her, she recounted in court how she burnt and hit her with the others. Why did she do it? “Well,” she told the court, her face blank, her voice flat and devoid of emotion, “I did it for fun. Just to see what it was like to hurt someone.” Sometimes her tormentors would make Ah Map laugh out loud and pretend to be happy while she was being beaten. “It was a game they played,” said Melody. “If she didn’t pretend to be happy they would beat her harder. They told her to laugh and smile while they burnt her. It was a fun atmosphere.”
On another occasion, “for a laugh”, the 13-year-old girl shitted in a shoebox and the men made Ah Map eat it.
I ask him what he thinks happened to the minds of Ah Map’s torturers. “I think they went mad without realising it,” he says. “Living together in that flat, high on drugs, they started to believe their world was normal. They had only themselves against which to measure their sense of human decency. Torture became a game for them. In their twisted minds it became acceptable.”
- http://tomhilditch.com/selected-journalism-1991-2007/the-hello-kitty-murder/

I think what is so vicious about this murder is that when she died, her tormentors continued life as usual, eating lunch after dismembering her body. Seriously, all the sickos out there...

Ok enough of the depravity in the world.
Dear readers, please don't get nightmares. I did warn you guys...
Now is the time to watch some lighthearted cartoons/ chick flicks to escape from reality for awhile.

On a lighter note, I went to Sentosa to soak in the sea with Vivian for the whole day.
I smell of seawater and sunblock now, my skin is red and my tanlines are...
I got stung many times by an unknown thing in the sea. I hope I don't get any rare blood transmitted disease or anything lol.
The weather was so good today! By good, I mean BLAZING HOT. Cuz it only feels good when you soak in the sea on a hot day, no point soaking in the cold, cold sea on a windy day. It was so hot, the sand was burning up and it was a Herculean effort (heh heh, remember GP??) to walk on the hot sand without slippers. I tried to find my inner balance/ peace and pretended it was a trial run for walking on hot coals.
Verdict? I cmi if people in Fiji invite me to firewalk.
I ended off the day playing pass-the-ball with a random group of kids. They were really friendly, a small dude swam up to me and exclaimed, "hello!" before splashing water at me. Of course I reciprocated the favour, and soon his small friends joined in.
All in all, great day spent! Now I need to rest my tired mind (from WR, I&R and Top 10 Murders of Last Century) and my tired body. Still gotta go to school tomo to hand in I&R and do duty for Resonate Ticketing, people come and support Resonate tyvm :D

Good night people, dream of pink fluffy bunnies and candy floss instead of decapitated heads.

(in case you want a visual)

most-awkward-moments part II

2011-10-17T17:32:00.007+08:00

WHEN YOU SIT NEXT TO A REALLY SEXY PERSON.
And you’re like:

But you wanna be like:

WHEN SOMEONE BRUTALLY INSULTS YOU AND YOU DON’T HAVE A WITTY COMEBACK…

INTERNET:
LOSE A FRIEND ON FACEBOOK:

LOSE A FOLLOWER ON TUMBLR:

I WONDER IF ANYONE IS SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH ME.

WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME I’M PRETTY/CUTE:
At first I’m all:

Then I’m like:
“Wait…”

WHEN YOU LAUGH DURING CAMERA SHOTS .. WAHAHAHA :D
Expectations:

Reality:

I LIKE SOME OF MY FOLLOWERS BETTER THAN MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS.
I wish I could do this to my followers:

and I wish I could do this to some of my facebook friends:

HOW OTHER PEOPLE DRAW BIRDS:

How I draw them:

SOMETIMES I THINK TOO MUCH AND PUT MYSELF IN A BAD MOOD:

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN A FACELESS, EMOTIONLESS, WHITE MANNEQUIN CAN PULL OFF AN OUTFIT BETTER THAN YOU CAN…

DEAR SIDEWALK, PLEASE GET WIDER… SINCERELY, THIRD FRIEND WALKING BEHIND FEELING EXCLUDED.

FLIRTING.
Normal people:

Me:

WHEN CELEBRITIES BUY 321649821375926 DOLLAR DRESSES AND IM JUST HERE LIKE

YOUR CRUSH WALKS IN THE ROOM…
Your friend instantly turns to you and is like

And you’re just like,

WHEN I SEE A GOOD-LOOKING PERSON:

TAKE A GOOD PICTURE
but the longer you stare at it, the uglier it gets.

I WISH I WAS ALIVE DURING THE GENERATION OF WHEN GUYS THREW ROCKS AT YOUR WINDOW, THEY WROTE YOU LOVE LETTERS, THEY SERENADED YOU, AND YOU WOULD GET PHONE CALLS, BUT I’M STUCK WITH GETTING POKED ON FACEBOOK, SHARING VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE, AND ONE WORDED TEXT MESSAGES.

WHEN TEACHERS ARE TEACHING NEW STUFF & THEY'RE LIKE "YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, YOU LEARNED IT 2 YEARS AGO!"
Bitch, I don’t even remember what happened last week..

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO CONTINUE A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT AND YOU JUST SOUND REALLY BORING.

WHEN PEOPLE SAY I’M BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS, ETC:

I HATE IT WHEN SKINNY PEOPLE SAY THEY ARE FAT AND IM JUST STANDING THERE LIKE..

THAT MOMENT WHEN SOMEONE CANCELS ON YOU LAST MINUTE.
And you’re like

NO TEACHER, I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER, THAT'S WHY MY HAND WASN'T RAISED.

TAKING A PHOTO WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
Expectations:

Reality:

2011-10-14T21:59:00.003+08:00

Thinking about all the wrong moves I made in the past makes me cringe and my face burn in mortification. Many times I just feel like slapping myself and crying, "O Celeste, why did you do that??"
I'm not a fearless person (I don't think loving thrills like roller-coaster rides and thinking Final Destination effects are lame make good yardsticks to measure fearlessness), but I am really impulsive. If I could go back in time and undo a lot of things, believe me, I would.
I've said a lot of things I'm not proud of, and I've done stupid things that are plain plain stupid.

I was looking through old msn convos, and I realised my lower sec days were a lot more exciting than my boring ole' life right now :'(
I looked like crap then, though... (I may still look like crap, in your opinion)
It's all so hilarious. I used to be so childish and petty (ok I am still petty, but I don't blatantly reveal names of people who offended me as my msn display name), and I think I missed a chance on love. Regrets regrets...
Got a lot of funny incidents to convey to my friends now hehe

But there's one thing I know I don't wanna regret, that is PW. We went to consult Ms Soh for WR draft 2 (draft TWO, not draft three, mind you) YESTERDAY, and we really got an earful from Ms Soh. I guess we needed that.
Being the main editor SUCKS, but oh well you win some and you lose some.
Listening to Super Bass on loop (I know this song is old-ish, but I LOVE IT). I was rapping at the top of my lungs with my sis just now, to think I used to find Nicki Minaj's voice irritating.

Boy you got my heartbeat running away, beating like a drum and it's coming your way...
IF the songs I've been writing ever get published (I don't think that's the correct term), I hope people would quote extensively from my songs and memorise the lyrics for all it's worth.
Back to PW now :D

P.S. I'm inwardly cringing at yesterday's post

2011-10-13T19:38:00.004+08:00

Many thoughts have ran through my mind this week, and many realisations have hit me. Most of them bad.

Today, I realise I've been a big joke.
I've done things I'm not proud of, and I regret not having the balls to do some things yet. Like take a firm stand on certain issues and confront myself. What have I been doing so far? Why are things like that? Would life be better if blah blah blah blah blah??
A million possibilites and outcomes. I thought 2011 would be different, but it seems it would be uneventful as usual. Nothing to be proud of. Just lots and lots of regret and self-hate.

Ohmygod emoing is EXHAUSTING. I wonder how people do that everyday. My heart feels like it weighs a ton right now, everything seems so bleak and I just can't keep my head up.

Okay this blog post has been super cryptic. I swear, a million things are still running through my mind right now, especially when there's nothing to occupy me tonight. My heart still feels really heavy, but I'm just gonna suck it up and get over it by tonight!
And to all my dear friends who always call/text me whenever I post something like this: Leave me alone to wallow in my own misery tonight, tyvm. I need to learn to be alone with my own thoughts, and it's not like I'm gonna jump off the building or anything.

Goodbye sad, sad world. Time to sing aloud to emo teenage songs and relate to them completey.

My Milkshake

2011-10-10T20:47:00.002+08:00

Lyrics from a catchy song.

Original:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
and they’re like, “It’s better than yours”
Damn right, it’s better than yours
I could teach you, but I’d have to charge

Old English:
Mine milkshake bringeth all yon gentlefolk to mine yard
and lo they reply ” ‘Tis better than thine…
“Verily, ‘tis better than thine!”
I could apprentice thee, but I wouldst levy a fee

Literal:
My whipped iced dairy drink brings the attentions of many males to my place of residence and/or employment,
and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours.
Absolutely, it far surpasses yours.
I could convey to you the proverbial recipe, but I would have to demand compensation.

Limerick:
Through stereophonic tubes
Comes a girl rapping mixes and grooves
and though you would think
Her topic was iced drink
It’s really all about her boobs

Haiku:
Boys, drawn to my yard
Their words in chorus singing
Your milkshake loses

#10738478756 reason why I love tumblr.

2011-10-07T22:42:00.005+08:00

X Factor USA
makes me depressed that Singapore has a shortage of such talent.

Melanie made me cry, and the group performance was so beautiful...

I guess the funniest X-factor clip has GOT TO BE THIS ONE.
http://www.youtube.com/v_GUBTvBbvI
I like the first part where Katy Perry judged... YOU SHOULD REALLY WATCH IT. She's damn hilarious, I swear.

And here is the worst one... by worst, I don't mean the singing. It's the attitude of the gals, it's so bad it's hilarious. You ain't seen nothing yet if you ain't seen this audition:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrNbLBS1D2Q

[edit]
I love my long, long talks with close friends. Be it in Macs, Starbucks, or over the phone... love it when you get that warm gooey feeling when you're having a heart-to-heart talk, where you can completely relate to each other, where you bare your soul to each other and there are no barriers in between.
I ♥ my friends :')
[/edit]

2011-10-06T20:12:00.001+08:00

In the process of redesigning my studying area now :)
Gonna leave some things intact... But many of the cutouts you guys saw in the previous post is in the wastelands bin now.
Feeling pretty artistic tonight! It's cold and rainy outside with lightning streaking the sky, gonna blast 987fm & sing along to my fave songs while the creative juices flow.

Gonna curl up in bed and read a book by the windowsill tonight! Need to cultivate some inner peace before getting back 3 papers tomo.

#fangirls

2011-10-05T20:59:00.002+08:00

Shit for some reason I find it damn hilarious cuz I don't get the hype over big Korean stars, that's why.
AND KATY PERRY FINALLY MADE THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY AN ALBUM SINGLE!! Thank God :D Now the whole world will appreciate the beauty of that song... I remember the first time I listened to it, I looped it so many times & I just couldn't get enough of it. It's now on my Top 25 Most Played playlist haha.

So... my EOM got rejected this morning.
Ms Soh took one look at it and told me, "I'm not accepting this. See me after this."
I tell you, I was CRUSHED. I spent so much time on it yesterday, and seeing people happily handing in their EOMs and getting rid of that big burden just made me depressed.
Oh well, thank God she rejected it cuz my EOM really was screwed. And I'm done with the 1736374763576th draft, I hope it's close to perfection by now!!

Ok back to watch my Vampire Diaries S3 and (possibly) Gossip Girl S5 :D Funshion REFUSES to screen GG S4, that selfish b.
And later I'm gonna curl into bed and continue my Lisa Jackson thriller. This time about some dude seeing visions of his ex-wife.
And then tomo I'm gonna get back GP and math. I hope I will not be disappointed; I still need strength to pull through on Friday.

Oh well it's a lovely night :D

2011-10-04T22:57:00.004+08:00

This is an Axolotl (ax-oh-lot-ul).

OHMYMAMMA THAT IS ONE CUTE THANG. Where can I get one??

2011-10-03T20:12:00.000+08:00

Met Vivian early in the morning cuz we wanted to beat the crowd & go to H&M at its opening time!
Yes I had the luxury to try quite a few pieces @ the heaven-sent fitting room. YOU MUST GO TO THE H&M FITTING ROOM BEFORE YOU DIE. Supa artistic :)
We walked around Orchard after that, (Orchard Central has really cool boutiques) and declared that Singapore is absolutely boring. There are barely any decent places to shop, and honestly I am quite sick of town already. Went there 3 times in the past week :|
After that, we watched this:

It was a close fight between Johnny English Reborn and Abduction, but we decided on the latter since it had been screening for quite some time.
It was truly hilarious. I laughed so hard @ the chair scene until tears were rolling out. I couldn't stand the cleaning lady though, but she used to be a beauty when she was younger (go Google).
If you're feeling particularly down, Johnny English will really crack you up :)

Finished another Lisa Jackson book. Her books are... friggin disturbing but I like disturbing books, so that's that.
The books I've read are The Morning After, Absolute Fear and Wicked Game. And I bought the sequel to Wicked Game- Wicked Lies.
The Morning After is about victims being buried alive. It was a lame book but I like the twist at the end.
Absolute Fear was friggin psychotic & I stayed rooted to my chair for HOURS, not daring to move. I get spooked easily, but I get hooked to books too.
Wicked Game is spooky too, but kind of confusing.
Verdict: Read Absolute Fear and see for yourself why Lisa Jackson is "#1 New York Times Bestselling Author".

THAT'S ALL FOLKS.

P.S. Who's going to school tomo to pick up your latest EOM draft?? :(

Varsity Blues- Teen Vogue

2011-10-02T14:33:00.001+08:00

Mara, a seventeen-year-old from a small town in New Jersey, has been harboring a secret from her friends for years. "I want to go to Harvard," she quietly admits.
"I got a perfect score on the SATs, I'm all-American honors in track, I'm taking six Advanced Placement classes, and I'm on mock trial. I've also researched my family history and grilled my parents about their colleagues to find alumni connections. I even told the school that I'd like to study engineering because I knew that, as a girl, it would make me a more attractive prospect." But still, she confesses, she realises that getting accepted is a long shot. "There's a 93 percent chance that my dream will be crushed."
Consider Casey, a seventeen-year-old who attends private private school on New York City's Upper East Side. "People will do anything they can to get ahead and get into an Ivy, including hiring a tutor to come to their home to teach them the latest tricks for acing the test or essay. How does someone without the financial means even compete?"
Marisa, eighteen, from New York City, says that most of her friends have a strategy, even as freshmen: "You need to plan your classes and extracurriculars, get an SAT or ACT tutor (everyone in my grade had one), and do community service, since it 'looks good'." Alice, another New York City private-school girl, echoes, "People have their life set out with a certain school in mind. And they'll make an effort to rack up titles like president of this, treasurer of that, manager of this other thing. But they spread themselves too thin."
The single worst decision you can make when applying to college is to blindly choose a university based on its name alone.
"Where you go to school doesn't define you or your accomplishments," Cohen says. "Your life is what you make of it!"

These are a few things everybody should learn from this article:
1) Mags like Seventeen and Teen Vogue seem frivolous, but they actually have articles that impact many young girls around the globe. Sure, it seems like it's just all about fashion and celebrities, but when you read it you realise that the articles they cover (eg. eating disorders) provide many good insights & help many teens suffering from different problems worldwide. Therefore, such mags are not as frivolous as they seem (LOL this was what I wrote for my GP essay for the "how far do magazines deal with what is trivial" question, and Ms Teo said the insight I provided was ONE-OF-A-KIND and that she had NEVER READ IT BEFORE in her many years of teaching!!!!! *beams* So next time you see a gal carrying a "fashion" mag under her arm, don't judge)
2) The world is so scarily competitive. Why couldn't I have been born in the fourteenth century or something, where gals greatest worry was whether they would remain single for life (or something like that). Or getting hit by the Plague.

And just so you're interested...
HERE'S MY STUDYING AREA :D

That space is gonna have a makeover by New Year's!
(need to start collecting interesting flyers/ handouts because I'm a cheapskate who doesn't buy mags just so I can cut them up)

P.S. Apparently our school is very slow for PW! I told my friends yesterday that haven't even submitted our EOM yet and they went "HUH" simultaneously and stared at me as if I grew 2 horns on my head.
Apparently they're working on/ have already submitted the finalised WR. And we're all still rolling around in beds declaring how lazy we are to finish/ edit our third EOM draft

2011-09-29T18:40:00.003+08:00

My bookstore-hopping trip with Jessie was GREAT.

First stop was Books Actually @ Tiong Bahru. We didn't know where it was situated at, but Jessie's great with maps so she led us there effortlessly.
The place is well-designed with many vintage details, like typewriters and cargo boxes. The book selection there is really unique, you can't find some of them elsewhere in Singapore. They publish a lot of works by Singaporeans too... photography, poems... and plays by S. Rajaratnam, which Jessie bought. And The Communist Manifesto. And a really interesting Marilyn Monroe biography.
I'm suddenly interested in vintage things, esp things like old yellowed paper, typewriters & 1920-1980s fashion. I'm probably gonna redo the corkboard in my room to something more fashion oriented (will post photos of my study space next time!). I also have a sudden fascination for pop-up books and cult movies, after reading a book about them. The storylines are friggin eccentric (about decomposed Siamese twins in garbage bag, mute girl-turned-psychotic killer)... but some things are so bad, they're good.
Yeah I have an appetite for gory things.

Jessie showed me a book about left handers.

Of the last seven US Presidents, five have been left handed
Left-handedness is slightly more common in men than in women
At least half the world's population writes from right to left, not left to right
You are twice as likely to be left-handed if you are a twin- and if you are left-handed, you are also roughly twice as likely to be the parent of twins
The left side of the brain controls the right side of the body

So you may see me running for presidency one day, championing the cause for writing from right to left. Life has been too easy for right handers. We left handers always get our pretty hands stained by pen ink everytime we write. Did you know that 2,500 left handers die each year using products designed for right handers -shakes head-
And anyone thinking of marrying me (ha ha joking, I'm convinced I'll be forever alone), GET READY FOR TWINS YO. I'm terrified of twins actually. I want neither identical nor non-identical twins. Imagine all the competitiveness & the animosity it breeds. At least I know my child won't get lonely... or will he/she?
And no wonder I use my right hand to play sports/ when using a scissors. Come to think of it, I'm pretty ambidextrous. I only use my left hand to write & to eat. My right hand is the stronger hand cuz I use it to play sports. I'm training to write with my left hand though! Ambidexterity is at the top of my bucket list :D

Here's more from the book:

We have to acknowledge that left-handedness can sometimes be the cause of disturbed development in the womb or of brain damage before, during or shortly after birth. Aside from associations with all kinds of ailments and disabilities ...

Ok this is so comforting. Not only will I have twins, my children will suffer from brain damage?? -faints-
There's more. (from thelefthandedsite.blogspot)

Researchers at Melbourne University have found that left-handed children do significantly worse in nearly all measures of development
Lefthanded children spend significantly less time each day on educational activities than their righthanded peers, and significantly more time watching television
We also have wider vocabularies than our right-handed peers, but are also more forgetful

So dear mommy, if you catch me slacking, FYI it's not my fault- it's all in the genes! When I do badly for tests- NOT MY FAULT. If I forget a formula/ definition- CAN'T BE BLAMED! See, research like this lead us to blame anyone but ourselves.

After Books Actually, we headed to Littered with Books @ Tanjong Pagar. It's a beautiful bookstore, 3 storeys high. It's not vintage like BA, but the environment is really cosy. I sat there reading books about ghosts, maps, railways, night photography... damn I really want to invest in a DSLR & take proper night shots! (Eileen: they were selling Susan Mallery @ $7)

Jessie spent $100+ on books today (she's a book-lover like me, but us poor folk need to borrow tattered books from the library). Her taste in books is pretty eclectic, very different from mine. But we have similar opinions & taste in guys (LOL). FYI if you're a dude trying to court her, find her @ the nearest Starbucks. She would be the one sitting alone at a table, nose buried in a classic with a latte by her side >:)

After today's little bookstore-hopping trip (next up: museum-hopping), I feel about 10000x more cultured, refined, artistic, intellectual and creative. Gonna bury my nose into Teen Vogue & do something with my corkboard tonight. And probably take random photos of my room. Who knows what I will do?

Ahh life is good after promos :) It'll be even better after I catch Johnny English!

P.S. Stay tuned to fb for photos (I spammed photos of the interior of Books Actually) & sinecera.tumblr for Jessie's recount of today!

[edit]

Transitions in life are usually marked by major events- birthdays, graduations, weddings. But the greater transitions often come out of smaller moments, when we stop and look at where we are.
Because each time we see how far we've come, we also see how far we still have to go. In order to fully transform, we might need to free ourselves of everything we've been holding on to, to send us on our new path. The right one.
But if at the end, you find the person you've become is not the person you want to be, you can always turn around and try again.
- Gossip Girl

YOU SEE WHY I LOVE GOSSIP GIRL.
Does anyone know where I can watch Gossip Girl? Stupid unreliable Funshion stopped screening GG, even before I could finish S4 :( I've started watching Glee S3, probably gonna start on Vampire Diaries S3 too!
Oh and I need a new laptop. My ancient 2/3 year-old laptop is failing me. And I took photos of my studying space, but the wonderful laptop can't detect the memory card! Oh well.
I realise I lose interest in things really quickly.
[/edit]

2011-09-28T20:31:00.003+08:00

I never want to see a single bloody question about iodine in my entire life ever again.

Needless to say, chemistry was a death-defying experience. I should've been brain dead by now... but hey surprise surprise! I still need to live through the torture of getting the script back.

Ok retail therapy works because you just get so exhausted, esp when you're braving the H&M crowd. Did I mention I like the whole architecture?? Their shirts are too cheap to be true but damn, the crowd's nasty. You would think there would hardly be anybody on a lazy Wednesday afternoon with half of Singapore's youth still having their exams... WRONG. The queues @ the cashier for every. single. storey is so long, and the fitting room queues are even WORSE. Don't even bother wasting your time. With the long queues, you'd think the IT fair came to Somerset/ Borders selling their stuff @ 70% off.
Oh well. The storefront was classy though! Very Moulin Rouge-ish.

Now is the time to catch up on wasted youth. (like dedicating half your holidays to chemistry before realising with a dismay that all the shit you put in for redox & whatevs remains shit) Going bookstore-hopping with Jessie tomo (I really can't wait! I'm gonna be a culture junkie & snap a million photos. All that I'm missing is those thick black geek spects which are becoming so common now, because thick black spects flatter EVERYBODY.
I swear, everybody looks good in those geek spects. That's why they choose to use it as an accessory. And it's fun looking like a geek when you ain't a geek. And people think it's cool to own them. So I shall be un-cool & go against the flow and not wear those silly mainstream thick black geek spects!
(as you can see, my brain's kind of fried cuz I can't seem to get over chem. Chem ALWAYS hits me the hardest)

I have a very long to-do and shopping list. The first on my to-do list is "How To Handle Disappointment", which must be checked off before we get our scripts back on Wednesday.
Ok bye kids I'm off to the world of psychopaths and murderers. Imma be a writer when I grow up! Watch me top all the bestselling lists @ ~~Borders~~ Times.

FYI, this is what a troll-face looks like.

Of course the troll-face I drew on my math paper didn't have a half-assed grin on his face. Just a bottomless pit as his mouth.

2011-09-27T12:45:00.001+08:00

When I'm doing my exams, I tend to draw a face beside each question.

A happy face = I can solve a qianbian math question with many bloody steps / satisfied with my answer (for econs/ hist)

And you know what an angry face means. I draw angry faces so when the future me sees my marked script, the current me would tell the future me not to be so disappointed with my scores, cuz I did try my best as I was attempting the paper.

FYI, my econs case study was vandalized with many angry faces.

For math today, I couldn't solve a differential equation & I got so pissed I drew a really big troll face. The kind you see on tumblr.
As I finished my paper & flipped back to the page to attempt the question again, Mr Koh happened to walk past.
He must have seen a really obvious imprint when he approached my table, so he stopped for awhile & peered at my paper.
And walked off chuckling/ laughing, obviously amused by what I drew.

Did I mention he's our potential new math teacher?
Ok math overall was good, but I hope he doesn't remember me & the brilliant illustration of the troll face.

Feelin pretty lucky today!

2011-09-25T22:09:00.001+08:00

Must've tweeted about 50 times today! Many avid tweeters out there too...
I hardly use Facebook anymore, not even to "stalk" peoples of interest or anything.
I always think it's safer to let your thoughts out on Twitter, esp if you don't have many followers + private account = tweet-all-you-want!
Time to switch to Twitter, guys.
Besides, fb is so fugly now, don't you think? I don't quite fancy the new features...
Old-fashioned Blogger is still the best hehehhehe.
Good luck people! Chiong this week & it'll all be over. Wish me luck for hist tomo!!!! Sukarno & Aung San, wo kao ni le!
& then I'll eat Macs @ White Sands every single day & pray I'll get lucky.

I WON $30 DENIZEN VOUCHERS ON MY FIRST TRY.

most-awkward-moments/ thewisepickle

2011-09-20T18:06:00.003+08:00

When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says, “You were so cute! What happened?”

Bitch, I got sexy, that’s what happened.

Hate it when I plan a conversation with someone in my head and they don’t follow the script.

That fake laugh you do when you don’t understand what someone just said to you.

When your parents try to talk to you about your future
and you’re just like,

That annoying moment when someone asks for your advice and after everything you say, they reply, “I know”
Bitch, if you know, then why did you ask me?

So here’s how my math class works
What we learn in class:
1 + 1
Homework:
-55x + 47x
Test:
39048240x^2(3454x + 84) + 8343x(x - 454)(354 - x)

When someone erases the board while you’re still taking down notes.

Imagine being famous and having people tell you they love you
I’d just be like

A research made in Scotland has proven that beautiful people die earlier!

Staring at your crush:

But when they catch you looking at them, you’re like

Staring at my crush.
Expectation:

Reality:

When I try to be cute and say hi to a good looking guy…
Expectation:

Reality:

When you tell your crush how you really feel
Expectation:

Reality:

Joke’s on you, Dracula. I have AIDS.

I understand how people feel when they see their ex with someone else.
I feel the same way when I see the pizza guy at someone else’s house.

“Would you like a table?”
No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for five please.

Voldemort is a lot like a teenage girl.
He has a diary, a favourite ring and necklace, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy. and badly wants a nose job.

Oh God I ♥ tumblr.
I think I just got abs by laughing so hard >:)
& I wanna try this:

Study hard kids!

2011-09-20T09:54:00.003+08:00

Feel what it’s like to be trapped in a horror film as you run for your life in a Carn-EVIL of crazed clowns. Step into the haunted Peranakan house where you face the Vengeance of the Matriarch as the demented Nyonya stirs her bubbling brew of black magic. Mutated zombies roam around in a Post-Apocalyptic Rage, ravenous and starving for human flesh and blood. An awful curse has befallen tormented inhabitants who are now infected by a foul toxic plague in Pestilence. Can you escape the insane clutches of the Mad Scientist as he stalks unsuspecting victims in The Void to dismember them and fasten on hideous artificial limbs? Shrivel in fear when you flee to The Edge of Darkness from hordes of rampaging mummies and mindless demons seeking fresh souls!

YESYESYESYESYESYESYES PLS!
It's really really cool :) :) I wanna know how it feels like to scare yourself silly/ be scared to the point that you're so numb. And I was suggesting to Trisca, "if a zombie runs towards you, run towards him with widespread arms!"
The ticket prices are kind steep though :/

So Ms Tan said that she attempted our math promos already... AND SHE STRUGGLED. She struggled with the paper. But she assured us that every time the math teachers vet through the paper, the paper gets easier.
But still.... DAMN.

Ok from now on, White Sands will be my second home. I'll be hanging around Macs/ the library (so I won't get sick of either), cuz I REALLY can't get work done at home.
GOOD LUCK PEEPS! It'll be over before you know it >:)

[edit]
Can you imagine if you went to the doctors and you had a sore throat, and he asked you what the problem was, and you suddenly turned into Eminem. “I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT IT REALLY IS, I CAN ONLY TELL YOU WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. AND RIGHT NOW IT FEELS LIKE THERE’S A STEEL KNIFE IN MY WINDPIPE.”...
[/edit]

2011-09-15T21:32:00.003+08:00

Horrible sore throat now :( I should not have boasted to my sis that I have not fallen sick @ all this year... up till now. Life's funny like that.
On the other hand, the last time I had fever was 4 years ago. Yes even though I'm susceptible to sore throat, I guess I'm relatively as healthy as an ox.
But sore throat sucks too. I hate the feeling of waking up in the morning with your throat extremely parched. And then I'll have a blocked nose = can't sleep + waste tons of tissues + can't taste any good food I'm eating :( :( sux2beme. During promos period somemore :( Great timing eh, immune system?

GP was okay, I guess. I did the third most popular question (on media) and Eileen & Yong Sheng were TOTALLY reassuring by saying that it was easy to "hijack" the question and fail. Thanks ah, guys.
The back of the hall was surprisingly not as cold as I thought it would be! Hah the air-conditioning loves me >:) I just pray that I'll be reallocated to the glorious front of the hall again for the next few papers!

Facing EOM woes now :(

2011-09-14T18:23:00.001+08:00

I'm sitting at the last row for GP exams tomorrow! Ahhhhh the back-of-the-hall horrors are gonna start haunting me tomorrow!

I knew it was too good to be true, to be blessed with front-row/ front of the hall seats for the past 2 rounds of exams, to hear people whine about the ridiculously strong air-conditioning at the back while I happily swing my legs and enjoy the cool air at the front of the hall.

I'm have low tolerance for the cold. I'll probably bring leg warmers and a big puffy winter jacket and a fleece blanket or something. Tonight I'm gonna stuff myself with calories and carbs and fats to supply heat for me tomorrow. I know I'm overreacting, but I'm taking no chances. I won't let the cold ruin my chances at GP!

2011-09-09T21:30:00.007+08:00

I heard these jokes on 987 :)

Q: What do construction workers sing?
A: Everyday I'm shoveling

Q: What do cows sing?
A: Mooooooooves like jagger

Just finished the chem promos revision package. Who died many times while doing it? And trust RJ to come up with that "very intergrated" question haha. And I have a newfound love for post-its. I have never realised the convenience they bring, until now.

I never really believed in TGIF, esp now because Friday or not, we're all mugging for promos.
But I'm really glad that I finally caught up with Jessie (after one loooong year). It's so rare to find someone feeling the same way I'm feeling right now about stuff, and it's so refreshing to hear from someone who's a neutral party. We talked a lot, secrets were revealed, we laughed & we joked... Can't wait to go out with her after promos :D

I swear, stereotypes are so misleading.
The jock you see may have this rich inner-life. He may surprise you with his musings about life and he may write poetry that can capture a girl's heart.
On the other hand, the dorky brainaic who tops the class consistently may be a lying weasel rat-fink dog who plays with girls' emotions and has screwed up priorities.
I'm pretty sure this drama that has me and J reeling over in shock + disgust will take many surprising turns, all the way till promos. Who ever said that people would take a break on all other stuff and focus on their studies all the way till exams are over has apparently not met this gang yet.

Dear someone who has made 2 people's lives hell and the other 2's complicated:
Ok I can be impulsive, judgmental and opinionated because I don't know you personally.
But honestly, you can't expect me to like you or anything after knowing EVERYTHING, ok not everything, but most of the things you did.
I know what you did. I wish to say "every single thing", but the people who love you really think the best of you and would move mountains just to protect you, you know?
I think you're living a lie. One day all the walls will fall down and everything you ever did to both sides will be revealed to everyone. That's not ideal, and I hope you make up your damned mind.
If you have, I wish you would confess everything you did to both of them. They deserve a right to know.
You are a lucky dude and I hope you will make things right again.

So much for hoping that everything would die down after yesterday. Hah. Naive, naive me.

And to my 2 lovely friends involved in this: (who happen to take econs)
People are rational. But our feelings are irrational.
And this is for you two (plus J):
9966699999966699999966699966669996699999996699666996699
9966999999996999999996666996699666699666996699666996699
9966699999999999999966666699996666699666996699666996699
9966666999999999999666666669966666699666996699666996699
9966666669999999966666666669966666699666996699666996699
9966666666699996666666666669966666699666996699666996666
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1. Highlight the text
2. Press Ctrl+F
3. Press 9

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, HERE'S SOME TUMBLR-LOVIN'.
How attractive people smile:

How I smile:

WHEN I SMILE...
Expectation:

Reality:

2011-09-08T19:42:00.004+08:00

Do you have the feeling of wanting to know someone better, that if you were at the right place at the right time, both of you would hit it off very well?
I guess many people have that feeling, but the "right place at the right time" thing hardly ever happens. We gotta create opportunities for ourselves and not let life pass us by.
I need to get out of this rut!

"I went all the way through primary school thinking I was a high achiever but then got to secondary school and realised that I was actually quite a mediocrity."
True that. I was consistently one of the top scorers in primary school. I thought I'd grow up studying medicine or law (sorrz, not my cup of tea) and be a President's Scholar or something.
That was until I grew up. God, it's a cold cold world out here. Everyone's an overachiever. Everyone's a leader. The dude who tops your class now may merely be an average Joe in the world of brainiacs. The bar is constantly being raised. So much pressure to excel and succeed, otherwise you'll be left behind.
Everyone wants a special job, not something 9-to-5. Everyone wants to go to Ivy League or some fancy college in UK. What are we living for, exactly? What can make us truly happy?
I don't even know what I want to be in the future. I'm just a small, small girl in a big, big world.
I'm afraid of the future. Some of us can't wait to grow up, I don't want to grow up.
But hey, I know God is gonna provide for me. I'm not performing satisfactorily in school right now and I know I can't compare to all the Einsteins out there, but I know God has a plan for me. Somehow, I'm scared but then I'm not scared.

Ok time to tackle that mountainous pile of work waiting for me now :(

2011-09-07T21:47:00.003+08:00

I know everyone can't get enough of Manpuku... It's a gr8 place to mug. When you walk in there, you don't know if you're in a Jap food court or if you're in some study lounge. Te environment gets super conducive when you see everyone mugging there, an occasionally you can hear some know-it-all whizzkid showing off his vast knowledge about organic chem to his clueless classmates.
I love good ole White Sands though. Who's studying in Macs tomorrow? :)

I CAN'T WAIT FOR JOHNNY ENGLISH TO COME OUT!!!

2011-09-06T20:54:00.003+08:00

Oh God I really suck at cheering people up :(
Who cares about workshops on anger management? Can someone please open up this Cheering People Up 101 course or some Cheering People Up For Dummies book? I'm in need of some lifeskills here!

I went to the Borders clearance sale @ Expo today with Jia Min.
Everything there was @ 70% off. I would have spent so much time there sifting out all my fave authors/ looking through the cds (they had The Saturdays, but the case was badly scratched), but I didn't want to keep JM waiting so I managed to find only one book by Lisa Jackson (I love books about psychopath murderers, so sue me). It's super thick and will keep me company for 2 days while the Physics people are studying for their paper >:) I swear, CHEM subj combi people get the best deals all the time.

I really really really want to watch Wicked and go to H&M haha. My post-promo plans are set. And I'll visit Borders @ PP like mad in case it closes down, and go to Kinokuniya @ Ngee Ann City, probably my favourite place in Singapore. I can spend 5 hours there haha, I'm bookworm-ish like that. WHO WANTS TO GO WITH MOI??

Oh, and let me recommend this:

http://most-awkward-moments.tumblr.com

2011-09-04T20:43:00.006+08:00

When people tell me their problems and I don't know what to say:
Them:

Me:

Haha Tumblr, you can read my mind :D
I really suck @ cheering people up. I don't know the right things to say... all I can do is to be physically & emotionally (though they may not feel it) there for them and try to make jokes out of the situation.

Here's another one:

My jaw dropped. Seriously, it DROPPED.
But... AHA. The plot thickens.

It probably meant the WORLD to the mother duck (is it a duck?? I really don't know). That's really sweet.

Ok a few last ones:

Another one!
When your crush says "hi" to you,

Tumblr is SO GOOD. I love it for so many reasons. There's the fashion aspect (clothes you'll never have), the stories aspect (touching stories about suicide and all that stuff), and THEN there's the GIFs which are so.damn.good.

jar of hearts

2011-09-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

There's 2 parts to this blog-post, the initial happy-go-lucking feeling and how I'm feeling right now.

PART ONE.
The past 2 weeks has been shiteous for me, especially during the nighttime when secrets are revealed, when everyone's chionging assignments and when some things just fall apart. Thank God I'm a guaikia who believes in the power of sleep (if I ever ever ever sleep @ 2am, I'll have to sleep @ 7pm on the same day- my body clock's annoying like that. can't keep late nights) so my nights aren't very long.My nights have been shitty because there's so much drama going on right now that's affecting me like CRAZY.

Before I get to the heavy stuff, it's TUMBLR-TIME :D

LOL @ Bieber Haters who stalk every single video of his just to point out a single mistake.And this:

I know the title of this post is cliche, and I'm going to make this post even more cliche by posting the most cliched parts of the song (so get ready to roll your eyes).

I know I can't take one more step towards youCause all that's waiting is regretAnd don't you know I'm not your ghost anymoreYou lost the love I loved the mostAnd who do you think you areRunning 'round leaving scarsCollecting your jar of heartsAnd tearing love apart

Why am I posting this? There's this drama (that would put 爱 to shame) going on right now, a drama that affects people I hold close to in my heart, and despite being the third party, I'm somehow tangled in it.And I know the lyrics (very freakishly) accurately describe the feelings of a person right now.

OMG. I'm suddenly inspired to write a song about the situation right now. Ok time to pen everything down!

PART TWO.
Life and drama happened. The plot thickens and I'm caught in the middle again.LIFE SUCKS.

2011-08-27T17:52:00.000+08:00

I officially have #nolife and am #forever alone.

The busiest week of the term has officially ended (WHOOPDEEDOO), but there's always PW and external CIP :(
Wah I seriously can't believe I looked forward to PW last year. What on earth was I thinking?? Now it's just modifying proposals after proposals and editing everything since I'm the main editor.
It doesn't help that Tumblr's full of summer photos in the US since school was out for them and they were hanging around in beaches, taking gr8 photos and having the time of their lives.

Term 3 has been gr8, nonetheless. Many significant things happened, I reconnected with old friends, experienced God's grace... yeah everything's just peachy.
I just hope the last week of term 3 would be great, because after that everyone's gonna be mugging like crazy for promos, then chionging like crazy for PW.

Ah today's such a cold, wet day. Hate this kind of weather, but it's kind of cool seeing a red night sky (you know it signals that it's gonna rain late into the night/ early morning?).
I'm going to make a to-do list for after promos :D First on my list- visit Borders @ Parkway for one last time just in case it closes :(

2011-08-09T20:38:00.001+08:00

AH WAIT ANOTHER FUNNY POST FROM TUMBLR.
The gif is funny, but the comments are priceless.

way to sweep her off her feet

WATER YOU GUYS DOING

son of a beach.

I hope I feel such a wave of emotion on my wedding day.

wave goodbye to those flowers.

they tide the knot.

They should’ve sea’n that one coming.

Shore hope they took earlier photos.

That shore is unfortunate.

That’s going to coast them.

Just go with the flow.

I sea what you all did here.

WAY TO DIVE INTO THIS MARRIAGE GUYS

I think I just died laughing!

2011-08-09T20:09:00.003+08:00

One of the reasons why I love tumblr :)

2011-08-09T14:57:00.002+08:00

Can't watch the fireworks today :'(

HAHA Facebook has a funny way of recognising faces!
You know, after you upload photos on fb, they group faces that look similar so it's easy to tag people?
1) Fb grouped separate photos of me and my sis together. Which means we look alike. Hmmmm.
2) Fb actually went to group the terracotta soldiers faces together, and suggested a friend's name for it! LOL. She doesn't even look like a terracotta figure!
3) Fb went to group some random face in the crowd w a terracotta soldier
4) Fb grouped 2 of my sister's photos together and suggested another of my friend's name for her
5) I was wearing a shirt w an Audrey Hepburn print on it, and yep they sure recognised the face
Ok damn funny I'm gonna release the actual names on my private blog ;)

Fireworks

2011-08-07T11:45:00.003+08:00

Stuff like this inspires Katy Perry :)

Okay these are the best of the best pictures I took of the fireworks, but I still don't think they do the original fireworks justice. You gotta see the real stuff. I feel like going to the city on the actual day to see the fireworks in action again haha

NDP Preview 2011- pictures!

2011-08-03T21:58:00.007+08:00

Our tickets! Green sector. Worse seats in da house but best view of Eileen :)

Free polaroid :) We wanted a second one but the dude didn't allow it :(

Okay, not exactly the most flattering picture of me but I love the lens flare :)

I know y'all are bored w late afternoon shots of the city skyline so I'm uploading the night scenery later! Benefits of having a DSLR to take proper night shots hehe

Damn, I want to be a Red Lion and descend from the sky LIKE A BOSS w the whole crowd of people cheering for you.

Knowing me, I'd probably crash into the buildings and die or something. Like a second 911.

AND HE LANDS!

The annual ceremony...

Eileen! The only gal there, yet the leader (or something like that). See, I even took the liberty of decolourising the background so you can have a perfect view of her :)

This is too cute for words. A pau float! And see the men dressed as (not in) hats cycling to the stage? If I'm not wrong, there were dancing teapots and teacups and an elephant float. Very Alice-in-Wonderland.

They were singing some cheesy song about the MRT when this thing appeared.

Oh please la you dare sing praises of the MRT like that? Thanks for delaying and making me late countless times. I dedicated a lot of angry tweets to you on Twitter, just so you know, SMRT. And all the waiting time for the East-West train on a Friday night at City Hall? I have a lot of things to say about you, SMRT. And no, they're not about happy people dancing with their briefcases saying that the MRT is the best way to go.
And this is the stage...

My first attempt @ bokeh w the DSLR! Okay la it isn't that bad -gives myself a pat on the back-

People w all the flashing electronic lightsticks singing along to the musical...

MBS @ night. I didn't have a tripod so the quality isn't exactly the best...

Aha! One of my fave photos. Fireworks shooting out from the city skyline w lights flashing into the night sky and confetti flying all over the place. Who needs Empire State Building when you can have CBD? (I did not just say that- I just hope Empire State Building would relocate to Singapore. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains... how much faith do I need to move Empire State Building? Hmmm)

Group photo :D We had gelato afterwards. One for one after 8pm @ Citylink. It's kinda gud actually, will go back there again.

NDP Preview 2011

2011-07-30T23:08:00.002+08:00

I patiently waiting for the photos to be transferred to my ancient laptop. I was wondering why the hell it was taking so long... and I realised I took 400 photos. LOL.

Anyway one album's gonna be dedicated to fireworks. I must've taken about 100 photos of the fireworks! It was so pretty... there were even heart-shaped fireworks, can you believe it?
It may not look that gr8 in the photos, but in real life it was spectacular. But I realised I was so concerned with snapping gud photos that I didn't really appreciate the fireworks; it looked better seen through the naked eye than through camera lenses.
I'm never gonna take photos of fireworks ever again. I'm just gonna enjoy the moment :)

Overall this year's NDP was better than last year's, probably due to the atmosphere. Me and Xin Xin scored the worse seats in the house but we had a gud time though. Did a fair share of cheering and singing and took many photos (duh).
And we went there to support Kellie and Eileen. Eileen was the only female scout (if I'm not wrong) marching in the parade. So proud of her :') At first me and Xin Xin were looking out for bare legs (cuz she usually wears a skirt w her scouts uniform) but we spotted no bare legs, so I just took random shots of the scouts marching... and voila! We spotted her when we zoomed into the photo. Hah. Gonna crop her face out and post photos here next time.

K gonna upload the photos to fb tonight :) Stay posted for selected photos!

2011-07-28T23:10:00.001+08:00

Looking forward to tomorrow and the weekend :)

2011-07-24T21:01:00.003+08:00

Cinderella walked on broken glass.
Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass.
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast.
Jasmine married a common thief.
Ariel walked on land for love and life.
Snow White barely escaped a knife.
It was all about blood, sweat, and tears.
Because love means facing your biggest fears.

2011-07-22T21:39:00.001+08:00

Lusting after these right now... but Xin Xin was the voice of reason.

2011-07-21T22:15:00.001+08:00

I know some people think mind reading is a cool ability, I mean, won't it be fun to drop in and listen to somebody's thoughts sometimes? Edward Cullen made me entertain that thought...
But after a while, I realised it's cool to be the listener, but NEVER cool to be the one listened to. Blah, imagining someone knowing all your dirty little secrets, thoughts, fantasies and what not! NO WAY MAN.
Sometimes when I'm in a crowd and daydreaming away, I'd think "I know you're listening!". You know, just in case some perve has this psychic ability and is listening to my thoughts. Please. It's an invasion of privacy in all counts.

And I know many people want to know exactly WHO "stalks" their Facebook profile the most, that's why we have all these stupid apps that don't work and end up infecting some people's profiles with cheap advertisements. Similarly, they have this website where you can see who blocked/ deleted you from msn.
Why do we all want to know that? Sometimes, ignorance is truly bliss. And why do you want to know so badly who views your profile the most? So you'd know who crushes on you and your ego would be stroked?? If everyone wants to know that, then what if your crush/ love finds out that you're his/ her number one "stalker"? Cool anot? So would you risk him/ her finding out at the expense of you knowing too?
Okay I realised the previous para has too many question-marks lol. Anyway, now I don't want, don't need to know who blocked me on msn nor who viewed my profile the most number of times. The person who viewed my profile most is probably moi HAHA.
Aiya curiosity kills the cat la.

[edit]
I found out a lot of people cried during Deathly Hallows part 2, when Harry was looking into Snape's memories. I cry easily... but I didn't cry leh. Snape's devotion was touching, but I guess I was never really emotionally attached to the whole Harry Potter franchise. People talk about "growing up with the cast" and stuff (Matthew Lewis is so good looking now!) but for me, I'm like meh.
I only watched it cuz there were free tix/ people ask me to go watch the movie with them. But seriously, Hogwarts with all that fancy spells don't appeal to me.
Harry Potter lovers, please don't hate on me.
[/edit]

a dream is a wish your heart makes

2011-07-18T19:00:00.000+08:00

I find dreams so interesting :)

All the dreams I can remember are so absurd, I don't even know why my brain retains them. I know I'd have dreamt better dreams, but my brain chooses to remember this ridiculous dream of me exploring some fairy-tale castle.
So last night I had this good dream... and while dreaming I realised I was dreaming! So I was consciously dreaming, idk if you call this lucid dreaming or anything. It wasn't exactly a very ridiculous dream, something that could happen in real life (no exploring fairytale castles or anything), and halfway through the dream I realised I was dreaming. But I let the dream continue (didn't let my thoughts dictate it or anything) and then I fell asleep again.
I woke up and remembered the dream VERY clearly, all the details, about waking up halfway, knowing I was dreaming a good dream but letting it continue anyhow. Here's what Wiki says about Dream Initiated Lucid Dreaming:

One of the three techniques is object recognition. This technique is when someone finds an object in the dream that subconsciously tells them they are dreaming thus initiating a lucid dream. A common object people use are their hands. Finding your hands in a dream and focusing on them, then being able to move them at will triggers a lucid dream. The second technique is called TCR which stands for Text Change Recognition. Text in a dream, whether on a billboard, sign, book, phone, etc. usually changes everytime looked at. Recognizing this effect would tell you subconsiously that you are dreaming. For example, you may wear a watch in reality and while in a dream you quickly glance at your watch to see what time it is just like you do routinely throughout a normal day, but if you look at it again the time will not be the same. The third technique known is simple. It does not have a term but can be described as finding things in the dream that are abstract and would not occur in real life. Lets say you have a dream about a unicorn. Subconsciously this would tell you are dreaming maybe because unicorns are not real, and if they are I would like to see one.

This is not the first time it's happened to me. I never USE my hands, never recognise text and I most certainly DO NOT wake up just because I was dreaming of something ridiculous (like the fairy-tale castle). I happen to consciously dream when I'm dreaming of real life stuff, especially when I'm dreaming of myself interacting with schoolmates.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Maybe I should major in neurobiology lol. Dreams are so interesting, and I especially like the song a dream is a wish your heart makes from Cinderella. Damn I just KNEW I should've taken bio and studied the brain cortex in detail.

2011-07-16T15:20:00.000+08:00

Had a fulfilling 24 hours.

Belle came to crash '22 during chem lecture! Haha was halfheartedly drawing my titration graph and doodling random stuff with her on her paper... then showed her around the school, took some photos, had a hasty A/MwC before rushing off to interview a counsellor for our PW. 6 months is a lot of time to catch up on, def need to meet up with her to have more h2h in the future! Before she ditches me and flies back to her Big Ben and Tower Bridge :'(

Went to Geylang Serai CC with Yi Ching to interview a counsellor for our PW. We thought we'd get a run-of-the-mill counsellor (I mean, how much can you expect from a heartland CC?), but in the end we had a talk with Porsche (yes, her name's like that), director of Silver Ribbon AND World Federation of Mental Health, who works with policy-makers and cabinet ministers.
She debunked all the myths about single-parent families and opened our eyes to new perspectives and the help these people need. Me and Yi Ching left the CC enlightened and deflated, because our whole proj is based on one assumption. And it was a false assumption.
Therefore, our proposal aims to solve a conflict that does not exist in the first place.
Gonna chiong PW tomorrow, see what we can do to salvage our GPP. DH018, the A is ours!

Watched Part 2 last night! Me and Vivian were late, but we scored good seats, like really good for a movie like this. Overall it was a nice-ish movie, not really an "epic" conclusion, though I loved the cinematography and the music played.
Neville Longbottom's cute in a nerdy way, and Draco must be my fave movie badass. I fell in love with Tom Felton in Half Blood Prince, bleached hair and all. K spoilers ahead:
I've never read any single HP book, so I was pretty shocked when they revealed Snape's history. I never knew he fell in love with Harry's mum, and just as I was starting to dislike him, they made him seem like a good man. Always happens.
Ron and Hermione's kiss scene was... abrupt much? But I could stop the little "awww" haha.
Daniel Radcliffe isn't that bad looking afterall, when he entered that limbo state.
Voldemort was killed quite abruptly, in my opinion. After all these years and building up of the tension, he just disintegrated like that when Harry struck him with his wand after the last Horcrux?? Like... whut??
I knew Harry would snap the Elder Wand. Duh.
Lastly, the ending was amusing. All the dudes looked awful with their stubble and hair slicked back, though it made them look 2 decades older. Ginny Weasley's hairstyle was unflattering and Hermione was the only one who looked good.

Went to Viv's house for a sleepover. We were tired and zonked out so we headed to bed around 1+, but she stole the blanket so I was freezing the whole night :( But in the end I woke up 2 hours later than her (after stealing the blanket back from her) so the debt is paid HAHA.
Went to 313, got approached by this dude who asked if we wanted to work for tv commercials and by this 2 managers (I assume) from Abercrombie and Fitch if we wanted to work in the new store opening at the end of this year!! HELLYEAH.
Yep all in all had an enjoyable 2 days, gonna do research for PW now and do econs case study. Can't wait for 55th anniversary! I know it's kinda sian to mope around the second floor of 正心园 with the sole job of applauding, but it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see your school with so much pomp. And thank God they finally got to whitewash our canteen walls and along the corridors.

Tumblr-ing now. Tis so addictive :)

2011-07-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

Why do people see crying as a sign of weakness?
I used to hate being so emotional and overly sensitive, crying over sappy movie scenes and over ridiculous stuff. When I'm too overwhelmed by emotion, usually anger or self-righteousness, I'd start tearing and my voice will start breaking whenever I try to talk reason.
Damn. embarrassing.

I mean, who would want to be "that kind of girl who cries", right? It's uncool. It's seen as a sign of weakness. People want to act tough for all they're worth.

People just love boasting about instances when they did not cry, perhaps to make them seem cooler, different and tougher? I remember someone explicitly boasting that she did not cry while watching Titanic, all that kind of shizz. Not crying is different, yes, but why do people see a need to boast about that?

I'm inclined to believe that crying is not a sign of weakness. It means that you express your emotions better instead of keeping your face a mask. And not suppressing anything inside of you and letting it all out means you'll live longer (yep, tested and proven). Act so macho for what? Yeah yeah you can act like a tough cookie, but in the end it's us people who make fantabulous waterworks that kick the bucket later. Just sayin', cuz I'm sick of people boasting that "they don't cry easily" and blah blah blah.

And if you're an emotional person like moi... be thankful for who you are. Next time watch Titanic with me (I haven't watched it yet) armed with a box of tissues throughout the whole movie. (but it's romance, so I hope I don't fall asleep instead of being into the show) We can cry so much, it's so silly that we'll start laughing when the credits start rolling and it'll be an awesome experience.
OMG long day in school tomorrow, thank God the last period is history in an air-conditioned room. Never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually looking forward to history! Love the new hist teacher, she's the "disciplinary mistress" but a cool one @ that.

ATBQ lol. Guess what that means.

LIFE'S A RIOT.

2011-07-11T17:51:00.004+08:00

Got GP, hist & chem CTs back today.

I was originally gonna burden y'all with my woes, about how I know I underperformed, all the bloody careless mistakes I made... but this is all old news. Happens to the best of us for some exams.

But I'm going to count my blessings and share with y'all the joys of CTs. Yes I may be a realist but I am an optimist too. Realist ≠ pessimist.

First was GP. The essay was as screwed as I expected it to be (note to self: do not touch the topic of 'education' ever again. it's like walking into a death trap), but compre was better than what I expected!
I remember complaining to everyone that summary sucked, y'know you usually have too much to write for summary and have to cut down your words at the risk of removing important points? This time, I had too little to write and began- can you believe it- stretching the end of my summary by adding unnecessary descriptive words to it. I expected to fail my summary, but I did pretty well in the end!
And as for AQ... I did pretty well for it, and for the first time in my entire life there were NO COMMENTS on my AQ. No "not well elaborated!" "irrelevant!" comments, but just 2 pages filled with red ticks and a happy score at the bottom. I'm starting to love AQ.

Second was history.
We got a new hist teacher- Mrs Dayna Chia. She. is. the. coolest. teacher. ever. Dramatic, funny and understanding... made a good impression in our whole class. I'm pretty sure we all look forward to hist tutorials now, compared to the previous term where everybody was scrambling to sit @ the back of the class LOL.
She marked our SEA essays too, and omg I love her. I finally got an A for one of my essays! An A, after having a dry spell of Bs for my hist essays. I chose to do both SEA questions, and the essay which I thought I screwed up earned me an A!
And the best part? My essay was not "bloody" (as how Mr Chiang would describe), but rather, filled with many ticks (like my AQ). There were comments, but all the comments were GOOD. Like honest-to-god GOOD. "good analysis" "good point" "strong link" and a very encouraging comment at the end of the essay. That seriously made my day. I've never gotten an essay without any negative comments before, even in my "golden" Junior High days.
MY HISTORY GOT HOPE LIAO!!!

The third paper was chem, which was seriously !@&#^$%%^&&*, like I WANT TO PUKE BLOOD ON MY PAPER AND THEN INCINERATE IT kind of shitty.
But I'm gonna be thankful that I was surrounded by my happy-go-lucky classmates when we got the paper back! Last year, in my super competitive ex-class, I would have bawled so badly upon receiving my results that my eyeballs would be hanging by my eye sockets.
But when we got back and took a glance at our horrendous, pukeblood-inducing scores, we all had a good, hearty laugh. It was so bad, it became kind of a joke and reeeally funny. Not the best attitude when it comes to exams, but I'd rather laugh my heart out than cry my eyes out.

I know for every exam, there would be this person who didn't study but ends up doing so well, much better than someone who crammed info like shit and studied consistently during the June holidays.
I used to despise, okay, not really despise, but find it so damn unfair whenever it happens to my friends.
But come to think of it... though it may have happened to our friends, don't tell me it hasn't happened to you before?
I recall last year we had chem pract planning test, everybody in my (like I said, super competitive) ex-class was mugging all the pract answers while I was doing nothing but panicking because I was probably the only one in the whole class who didn't study for it. But when the results came out, there were people who got 2, 1 or even 0 out of 8, but me, The Girl Who Did Not Study, got a full 8/8 for it! I was overjoyed, but I'm pretty sure my friends were pissed and kind of resentful.
Can't you see? When it happens to us, we're overjoyed and feel lucky like a four-leaf clover, but when it happens to our friends, we get all resentful and jealous to them. We're such hypocrites. If such joy can befall us, why can't it befall our friends? Why can't we be happy for them like we would be happy for ourselves if it had happened to us instead?
Yep. So thank God for this sudden revelation, really shows me how narrow-minded I've been for the past few years of my life.

The purpose of this post is not to brag about my CT achievements (honestly speaking, my hist and GP results weren't that stellar, but I'm content), but it's to show y'all that despite good things happening to us, we tend to focus on the bad thing instead so that we're overwhelmed by regret and self-pity instead of joy and gratefulness.
GP and hist made my day, but one lousy chem paper + all the comparisons totally turned me into some emokia.
Instead of being thankful for 2 things, we instead let 1 thing destroy our whole day. I'm like that, but I realised it just makes us ungrateful creatures who only demand for more and are never satisfied. Why not give thanks for everything you have instead of focusing on all that negative energy? Not worth it, dudes. Not worth it at all.

So thankful I got Girlfriend, their articles there are really inspiring. PLS HAVE GIRLFRIEND IN SINGAPORE SO I CAN BE AN INTERN AND WORK FOR Y'ALL, TYVM.
Term 3's gonna be a bumpy ride, but first I need to mentally prepare myself for getting back econs and math tomorrow. Econs has always been my worse subj, and as for math...
1 A in my class, around 8 passes. Majority of my class people scored 30-39. ZOMG WHATISTHIS this is damn stressful okay.
Oh well. One step at a time!

[edit]
I don't remember if I shared this here or on my private blog, but there has been this huge trend on tumblr for quite some time- thinspiration.
They post only photos of skinny girls, championing the cause of skinniness, if there's such a cause at all. I know I'm not fat, but looking through all those pictures of protruding hipbones make me feel like a sumo wrestler... if it has that kind of power on me, imagine the effect it has on many other girls.
I don't know what's worse- the existence of that tumblr or the owner of the tumblr being so self-absorbed and concerned of appearances that she chooses to totally ignore the effect this kind of tumblrs have on girls who turn to anorexia and bulimia. Even worse- she "admire them for their strong determination to be skinny".
Someone commented this:
"You are 16 years old this year and you absolutely have no idea what the hell you are doing. You may think that you're being helpful giving people thinspo when all you're actually doing is encouraging people who are more than likely beautiful just the way they are to lose weight to fit into what society believes is a right way to look.
People can get extremely ill from looking at sites just like yours."
and she cheekily replied this:
"hmm if you got the guts don’t stay anonymous. anonymous are nobodies and nobodies have no right to lecture me. just saying :>"
She thinks she's oh-so-cool but it's not a smart answer and it shows how freaking self-absorbed she is. I don't approve of this "thinspo" trend on tumblr and I wish I could find a way to stop all this. Instead of promoting skinniness, promote healthiness la! If you exercise and keep fit, you'll naturally be skinny. LIKE, DUDE.
[/edit]

2011-07-10T08:50:00.001+08:00

Tips for success.

To avoid dealing with your period every month, simply get pregnant as often as possible.

Be a pessimist, you're always either right or pleasantly surprised.

To be pretty on the inside too, try eating the makeup.

Learn how to spell. Auto correct isn't always write.

You are what you eat. To remain youthful, eat children.

Walking very closely to the wall and taking sharp turns around corners is a good way to make friends.

Instead of giving your significant other flowers to watch die, send flowers to your enemy with a note that reads, "You're next!"

Don't worry what people think. They don't do it that often.

When you get pulled over by a cop and he says, "papers," respond with "scissors." Not only will you clearly win, he will be impressed by your wit and sense of humor.

When your significant other asks you to take them somewhere expensive for your anniversary, take them to the gas station and lament about how expensive gas has gotten.

When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected," slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it.

Always put your address on your house keys. If lost, they can be returned to you without trouble.

Say "no" to drugs. If drugs are talking to you, you've already had too many.

Sing the Pink Panther theme song when stealing things. This raises your stealth ability by 50%.

Get married on February 29th, this way you only have to buy your wife flowers once every four years.

Nothing says "I love you" like a plastic heart-shaped balloon that says "I love you."

Have a conversations with the snakes at a zoo. People will be impressed and think you are a wizard.

If you ever get caught sleeping on the job, slowly raise your head and say, “In Jesus' name, Amen.”

If you and your friend run into a bear in the woods and you only have one bullet left in your gun, shoot your friend in the leg.

Only befriend vegetarians. There is much less of a chance of them eating you during a zombie apocalypse.

Pictures are worth a thousand words, especially during essays.

Keep smoking, it'll help you lose weight, one lung at a time.

Don't make a dancer mad. They can kick your face no matter how tall you are.

When a friend calls themselves ugly, agreeing with them will show them that you value their opinion.

If you ask a woman if she's pregnant, and it turns out she isn't, tell her that she's about to be. This will defuse the awkwardness of the situation.

To remember your wife's birthday, forget it once.

If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling hot water down your throat.

If you dislike your village, go live in the jungle. You'll find singing bears and friendly panthers who will feed you.

Occasionally drop "no pun intended" into a conversation when there really is no pun, just enjoy the confused look on everyones faces... no pun intended.

If someone ever makes you upset remember that eventually that person will die.

Take revenge; crap on a pigeon.

To avoid oversleeping, simply place a set mouse trap on top of your snooze button.

When making a rap song, always yell your name at the beginning of the song. Otherwise, people listening will have no other way to figure out the artist.

Staring at the sun for prolonged periods of time will give you the ability to see aliens.

When you accidentally bump into someone at the mall, respond with,"Excuse me, Earthling."

Need to lose weight? Cover everything you eat in butter. That way, it will slide through your digestive system without the calories being absorbed.

Remain calm and call Batman.

Make bomb jokes in the airport. Security loves that kind of light humor because of their stressful jobs.

When doing the laundry, mix the whites and colors. This will show that you are not racist.

When a cop pulls you over for speeding and asks how fast you think you were driving, the correct answer is always, "not as fast as you were driving to catch up to me."

To ensure the surprise birthday party you planned for your girlfriend is really a surprise, ignore her on her actual birthday, and throw the party two months later.

If someone you like tells you you're beautiful, tell them they are ugly. Opposites attract.

The best way to make someone feel very important is to try to assassinate them.

When life gives you lemons, squirt life in the face, then take life's wallet.

When signing up for a dating website, make your username, "Little Kid Lover" to show women that you are serious about starting a family.

When your parents make you do the dishes, break a few in the process. They won't ask you to do the dishes anymore.

If you're getting a lot of mosquito bites, try injecting poison into your bloodstream so the mosquitoes die upon biting you.

Poke old people at funerals and say, "you're next." They really get a kick out of it.

Use multicolored duct tape, it makes the hostages feel more at home.

When the little white packet says "DO NOT EAT!" it only means the wrapper.

To be sure of always hitting the target, shoot first. Call whatever you hit the target.

If someone wants to be just like Harry Potter, kill their parents and lock them in a cupboard under your stairs.

Make her pay for dinner on the first date. This will ensure a second date because you now owe her money.

The next time someone asks you what you're eating, simply open your mouth and show them. People will appreciate the visual aid.

When your parents are mad at you, tell them you're pregnant. They will forget why they were mad at you in the first place.

http://grouchyrabbit.com

2011-07-09T14:49:00.002+08:00

Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door- I'd open up, and you would say, “Hey, it was enchanting to meet you."
Enchanted, Taylor Swift

I guess many girls love this fantasy-like song, but I have other thoughts about it.
Firstly, this dude meets this girl at some social gathering, they talk... and the next thing he does is to show up at her house. Which means he asked around for her address (honestly, how many of you can remember your friend's exact address? anyone?) or he stalked her. Freaky much?
Okay, so maybe you don't think it's freaky. Maybe it's romantic. What if he rings the doorbell... AND YOUR PARENTS OPEN THE DOOR INSTEAD? Awkward much?
Or you open the door, and your parents hear the commotion while sitting in the living room. What if they come to the door and start asking questions like, "what is he doing here?" "why is this dude at our doorstep at this ungodly hour?" Or even worse- chase the dude away. Wayyy to kill any romance.
Or you're having a romantic conversation with the dude where he says, "it was enchanting to meet you" and you two start flirting... without realising that your nosy parents are behind eavesdropping.
You see? This scenario- not possible enough. In fact, it seems as if it'll end up on FML.

I'm a realist- so sue me. Come on, when I was watching Dear John (that Nicholas Sparks novel-turned-movie) on the plane, I almost cried tears of boredom.
Sports carn was gr8 anyway, will blog about it soon!

2011-07-06T21:37:00.000+08:00

YAY can't wait for Deathly Hallows Part 2! I'm not a hardcore fan (never touched any of her books in my entire life), but I've watched part 1 already and I don't like to be kept hanging.
Okay I love tumblr's jokes.

Sometimes, I find it ironic that while tumblr champions causes for self-confidence, self-esteem and all that "you are perfect" "you're beautiful" stuff, don't you find it ironic that all the fashion pictures depict models with skinny frames and typical Western pretty faces?
Okay, so you're telling me that though I have a chubby face, I'm beautiful. Next, you're shoving pictures of modellish-like girls with protruding hipbones and angular faces in my face, indirectly telling me that the whole world finds that kind of girls beautiful cuz everyone's reblogging it.
I know we're supposed to be looking at the clothes (I like looking at how different people match their clothes), but why can't you find average people with average figures to model them? Why go for those with mile-long skinny spidery legged people to show off your heels and denim shorts?
This is just something I've felt strongly about for a very long time. Tumblr may urge you to be self-confident, but sometimes just looking at all the pictures, people may wish that they looked like that so clothes can look equally nice on them.

2011-07-05T20:37:00.000+08:00

Watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon today and it was gr8! Idk some said it sucked; X-men was definitely better but it wasn't half-bad. The battle scene was too draggy though.
These kind of plots are actually kinda predictable.
Warning: spoilers ahead. We all know the Autobots wouldn't have been killed when the rocket exploded. And they wouldn't let Bumblebee die. And I just knew Sentinel Prime would betray Optimus Prime cuz the newcomer will always turn against the good side. Besides, they wouldn't let an ancient leader like Sentinel Prime overshadow Optimus Prime. Vampire Diaries also, I just knew Klaus would kill Elijah in the end!
Wah I love Optimus Prime, esp at the end when everyth seemed so desolate, he just cut into the screen like some friggin white knight to save the day! The background music then was so powerful... and I think his voice is very sexy. HAHA. Suitable for being a radio DJ.

After watching Transformers, me and Vivian headed to Haji Lane. Gr8 for taking photos, plus you can find many quirky, one-of-a-kind items there! I love some of the shop decor too, but the clothes sold there doesn't appeal to me.
If I ever go there again, I will go there armed with a 1.5l bottle. It was so hot and I get dehydrated easily so I bought 2 cans of green tea and finished Vivian's Minute Mate. The drinks there weren't cheap but @ that point of time, I'm pretty sure my demand for it was price inelastic.

I just read this on Wiki:
Filming was temporarily delayed on September 2, 2010 in Hammond, Indiana, when an extra was seriously injured during a stunt. The accident happened when a steel cable snapped from a car being towed, owing to a failed weld, hitting the extra's car and damaging her skull. The extra, identified as Gabriella Cedillo, had to undergo brain surgery. The injury has left her permanently brain-damaged, paralyzed on her left side and her left eye stitched shut.
Oh man, that must suck :/ Reading all these behind-the-scenes stuff really makes you think a lot, huh.
Speaking of that, heard of the human caterpillar/centipede? When I first heard about that movie, I was seriously grossed out. But after reading the actresses' response about it being "fun" when the movie was shot, it makes me realise that albeit the gross plot, it's a work of fiction after all, and the gross scenes are all fake. So now I'm actually quite interested to watch the show. Even the trailer intrigues me.
I. am. not. a. psycho. okay. Just that watching horror shows in cinemas have made me desensitised to all these psycho movies. And it's an interesting plot to begin with, not like that bland The Roommate which is all flash and no substance.

K I've been stress-free like nobody's business for the past 5 days, and it's back-to-school tomorrow. Damn I hate the modified timetable!

2011-07-03T22:05:00.002+08:00

Went out with Crystabelle today :)

I'm tellin' ya, she's one popular gal! The moment she's back in Singapore, her schedule's fully booked so we managed to squeeze in one Sunday afternoon haha. I'd have preferred having the full day with her, but ohwell next time I'm going to show her MBS!
She got really pweety post cards from London and this gorgeous pencil case, ILOVEITTTM!

We walked to Sentosa from Vivo and took many photos outside USS and in the beach. Then we headed to Delifrance for dinner and back to the beach to catch the sunset, all the while talking about our lives.
London seems like a really good place to visit. I wanna go there in the summer and see so many places! I'd be very contented just taking photos of beautiful streets, phonebooths and red buses. And seeing beautiful unblocked sunsets and visiting St James Park. I would really love to live there, but I heard the COL there's pretty high :/ But Belle told me about Primark and I'm definitely shopping there!
We didn't catch a very breathtaking sunset in the end, because the sun rays were blocked by a ginormous cloud. I swear, if that cloud wasn't there, the whole sky would've been bathed in pink. In the end we decided to figure up what shape the clouds were forming. We ended up with: poodle, angel, rabbit, mushroom, tree, baby, Casper the friendly ghost...
That, my friends, is a very active imagination.
We decided to walk back to Vivo cuz we wanted to see the nightlights, some were cool but it's nothing special, really. I'd want to see the Tower Bridge @ night though.
I love talking to Belle and exchanging our experiences and viewpoints and having a good laugh (like swatting away unwanted flies @ the beach), but da-yum it was so hot there! We regretted not bringing sunglasses/ beach hat and a swimming costume because we were both sweating like PIGS and the water just looked so inviting. In the end we just sat on the warm sand and got our butts sandy HAHA.

I missed Slumdog Millionaire but the time was well spent with Belle! :D Pictures would be on fb.

This week would be a gr8 week, I'm sure of it :)
Okay back to my Linda Howard.

2011-06-28T20:07:00.004+08:00

History paper was :/ and econs paper was :(. Chem paper was @&#$$^!.
Everyone's tweeting/ fb-ing about it now, but my story's the saddest ever told.

I was chionging throughout MCQ (after looking at the first question, I knew we seriously had not enough time), and I was doing it until I saw the words section B.
My smart brain told me that "oh, so MCQ ends here cuz section B marks the start of structured essay questions!" and I didn't even bother reading the next question. I had much time to spare so I went to check and re-confirm a few of my section A answers before time was up.
We exited the hall and there was a huge hullabaloo about people "leaving 6 questions blank" and all that stuff. And I was thinking to myself, "yay I at least quite zai, managed to finish all the questions and still got time to check somemore!"
Right, right? Wrong.
I don't know why the teachers have to split the bloody MCQ into section A and section B! Turns out I unknowingly left 5 questions blank and threw away 5 marks like that. I'm not pissed because I didn't have enough time.
I'm pissed because I knew I had the time to attempt rest of the questions, because I bloody had time to check the questions I'd already attempted. I was still half daydreaming and humming Barbra Streisand in my head.
Secondly, people who didn't have time to complete the questions still managed to tikam and anyhow shade random ovals on the OAS, cuz there's a 25% chance you'd get it correct. I didn't do that kay, I stupidly left 5 questions blank.
I just kissed 5 marks goodbye :(

So while all you suckers are studying for Physics/ Bio tomorrow, I'm gonna go for a long jog and take a very cold shower to sweat away all the guilt and frustration.
I could've continued reading section B and realised there were still 5 more questions. But I didn't.
I'm just gonna finish Vampire Diaries tonight :'(

OKAY I'm just gonna amuse myself by watching Ark Music Factory music videos. They're all absurd, featuring girls who can't sing and lyrics that can be written by a 5 year old. If that's the case I can go sell my songs to them and be a songwriter liao. I think My Jeans by Jenna Rose is more ridiculous than Friday. Cracks me up everytime I watch it haha. Laughter's always the best medicine!

2011-06-27T18:21:00.002+08:00

You know how people always encourage you to "rewrite history"?
I had this funny thought during history CTs. If you forget something and accidentally "rewrite history" during your essays, Mr Chiang would write "GLARING FACTUAL ERRORS!!!!" on your paper.
Okay fine it doesn't sound very funny now, but it amused me throughout the whole of history exam. I know right, I should be thinking of Sukarno and Ho Chi Minh but I was busy entertaining myself with random thoughts.

Anyway, I'm sitting at the first row of the exam hall! Again.
I've never liked sitting in front, but I like the temperature there. Warm enough so you don't need a jacket, cold enough to... doze off.
I feel kind of free now, because I'm done with 50% of CTs! Chem tomorrow, one day off, and it's math. I don't know why out of all papers I have one extra day to study for math, but well, that's that.

I can't wait for my post-CTs plan. I plan to go swimming, watch Monte Carlo, catch up with people and finish Vampire Diaries series 2! And by then Pretty Little Liars s2 e3 would've come out.
Life is sweeeeeet :)

2011-06-20T22:38:00.000+08:00

I was disappointed that Rachel Gibson's new book wasn't released for loan at the library yet, so I was browsing through shelves, picking up random books that caught my eye.
Just as I picked out one book, another book fell out. So I picked up the book, and while I usually put it back on the shelf without a second thought, I decided to glance at the cover.
It's by Mitch Albom, the guy famed for writing Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I don't usually read these kind of books. They provoke a lot of thoughts and force you to reflect on your life, they play with your emotions (usually sadness) and I hate getting all teary and emotional so I'd usually stay away from such books.
But then I was thinking, it's prolly one of those moments in life where God is trying to tell you something. Like those magical movie moments where you're trying to find an answer in a book, you pick out one book and the book beside it (the correct book) falls out, you bend down to look at the book that fell and realise that it's the correct book. Idk how to say it in simpler English, but you get what I mean right? I decided, "okay this is my movie moment and I'm gonna read that book no matter what" so I borrowed the book.

It's a good book so far, Kylie says that it's the kind of book which makes you wanna appreciate the people around you more and make everyday count.
I haven't finished it yet, but I've already found a new favourite quote from the song this could be the start of something big, and I've just chanced upon this nice part that's so true, so here's an excerpt.

"You know, for three years after I married your father, I wished for a child. In those days, three years to get pregnant, that was a long time. People thought there was something wrong with me. So did I."
She exhaled softly. "I couldn't imagine life without children. Once, I even... Wait. Let's see."
She guided me toward the large tree on the corner near our house.
"This was late one night, when I couldn't sleep." She rubbed her hand over the bark as if unearthing an old treasure. "Ah. Still there."
I leaned in. The word PLEASE had been carved into the side. Small crooked letters. You had to look carefully, but there it was. PLEASE.
"What is it?"
"A prayer."
"For a child?"
She nodded.
"For me?"
Another nod.
"On a tree?"
"Trees spend all day looking up at God."
I made a face.
"I know." She lifted her hands in surrender. "You're so corny, Mom."
"So," she said, moving away. "now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of themselves as a burden instead of a wish granted."
She straightened and smoothed her coat. I wanted to cry. A wish granted? How long had it been since anyone referred to me as anything close to that? I should have been grateful. I should have been ashamed of how I'd turned my back on my life. Instead, I wanted a drink. I craved the darkness of a bar, the low-wattage bulbs, the taste of that numbing alcohol as I watched the glass empty, knowing the sooner it got in me, the sooner it would take me away.

This dude succumbed to alcoholism and depression after his wife left him, and unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide twice.
I guess whenever we despair and feel unloved, we forget that we may just be a wish granted to our parents. Some of our parents may have prayed for years before we were conceived, and despite the numerous quarrels and us being angsty teenagers, I guess the sweetest thing is that we all love each other though we may not be able to express it well. And whenever you try to kill yourself, you might as well kill your parents and take their hearts away with you. Just sayin'. I guess it's sad that some people underestimate their self worth whenever they compare to someone "better" or whenever it comes to superficial things like appearance, and they never see the beauty others see in them.

Anyways I'm gonna continue reading the book and see if anyth else is revealed to me.

I should probably keep a diary about myself. God knows if something cool happens to me and someone may just decide to go through my belongings to write a book about me. Must 未雨绸缪 and do that fella a service.
It's the last week of the holidays, and my heart is always extra heavy just before the term reopens.
This is random, but I love Candice Accola's rendition of Eternal Flame. I'm finishing Vampire Diaries s2 :D

2011-06-08T19:25:00.006+08:00

X-Men: First Class was da bombz!!! It's one of the movies I really don't regret watching; the money was well spent. On the other hand, Kung Fu Panda 2 was kinda disappointing.
I think the movie poster was kinda crappy. I would not have touched the movie with a ten-foot pole just looking at the poster, but my sister sang so many praises about it, declaring it to be "the best movie of the year", so I had to watch it.
At first I kinda looked down on it because I found the cast very average looking. But James McAvoy, the dude who acted as Charles Xavier is very charming and charismatic. So is the Magneto dude. Who needs good looks if you ooze charisma? I got a nice surprise though- Nicholas Hoult from Skins played one of the main roles there! I couldn't believe my eyes initially, but it was sad when his pretty face morphed into a beast's. And Alison from Pretty Little Liars had a brief cameo there. And Lucas Till from Hannah Montanna the Movie... me and Kylie were holding our breaths to catch the first glimpse of him. Oh boy, that guy is buff!
On the other hand, I know having abs and well defined muscles are manly and easy on the eyes, but do I really want to cuddle up to a brick wall? No thanks.
It's cool how everything just fell together neatly into place, with the movie explaining the origins and all. I now know why Magneto has that weird little piece of metal helmet on his head, why Professor X is on a wheelchair, how Beast was formed, blah blah blah. This movie has seriously upped my interest in X-men. Gonna Google everything and anything about X-men later. Including all their little mutant babies like Nightcrawler :)
Damn, I want to be a mutant. I want to be Nightcrawler without the blue skin and tail. Don't you think teleportation is one of the greatest power you could ever have? Let's face it, invisibility is kind of creepy. If I could teleport, I could wake up one hour later on a school day. I don't have to deal with traffic jams or squeeze with other commuters in the train during peak hours. If I leave something in school or at home, just make a trip to and fro in say, 3 seconds?

I never regret taking history. Critics always mock and ask, "why do you want to study dead people anyway?"
Fine. I study dead people, you science students study dead people's theories. Sama sama.
If I didn't take history, I wouldn't have known about many things. The X-men plot is real. Semi-real, the battle didn't happen but the conflict sure existed! I was grinning to myself because I understood all about the "Jupiter missiles in Turkey" and "missiles in Cuba" and what have you. Did you know Japan isn't the first serious nuclear crisis? Hell, the world was preparing for nuclear war 50 years ago! Still think history is useless? Don't you find these facts so interesting? The so-called "battle" between US and Russia (oh, it's not Russia actually. It's called the Soviet Union, but they simplify it for all you non-history students) has a name, and it's called the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Feeling pretty damn smug about taking history now. It's not an easy subject to score, but I like it because I want to know why things are the way they are today. When you read about a conflict in TIME, instead of focusing on the present tensions and stuff, don't you want to know how they started? Or are you just gonna accept the present and not question the past?
I realised many movies love portraying events during the Cold War. X-men is a classic example, and so was Salt (you know, that movie poster where black-haired Angelina Jolie held a gun and looked like a badass?). Did you know SALT is not anything mysterious, but actually the name of a treaty?
Hah.

Okay I shall now spam photos of X-Men: First Class and then Google X-men.

The "good" guys, Tony from Skins and Lucas Till ♥

[edit]
I didn't know they interlinked X-men with the Fantastic Four and Hulk. Marvel really is marvellous, ain't it?
Gotta love Tumblr GIFs.

[/edit]

2011-06-06T22:18:00.002+08:00

Hi world.

I've just come back from the world of Pretty Little Liars. Gr8 show!!! I can't stop raving about it :) :)
Spent 3 intensive days watching back-to-back episodes. I love Shay Mitchell and Keegan Allen! I love Troian Bellisario's character, Spencer.
Time to hit the books.

If you're wondering why my blog is so boring now, it's because I don't know what to post and what not to post anymore. I can't differentiate between "appropriate" and "inappropriate" anymore.
I've learned my lesson once and paid for it- all the guilt I've felt. I'm not about to cause a big hullabaloo and allow some random person to make a mountain out of a molehill over my blog posts and drag other people down with me.
So yep. No more controversial posts, nothing more about my personal life. Maybe I should *really* close down this blog.

2011-06-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

Thank God for a private blog.

2011-05-28T10:18:00.004+08:00

SAT SCORES ARE OUT
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember assuming that the scores were coming out on Thursday and have nightmares + sleepless nights over it. In the end it turned out that the scores would be available only today... and after all the anxiety before Thursday I even forgot that the scores would be sent in today until Xin Xin called me just now and reminded me.

Am really, really pleased with my scores :) :)
When I did the SAT practice, my scores were only average, and Dr Yap said that good scores had to be above 1900. My score then paled in comparison, and all I wanted to do was to get above 1800.
See, their English standards are really high compared to theirs, while their math standard is like *cough cough* so I guess there's a trade-off for everyth.
I'm just... really pleased with my writing, reading and math. Though I thought my writing should've been better.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Of course it's not good enough to qualify me for Ivy League, but come to think of it- I don't really have a burning desire to go there. I think I belong in a public university!
And the only reason why I find Brown so cool, it's because it's featured in Gossip Girl.
I really wanna try Liberal Arts though.
OHWELL.

Though SAT scores may not mean much, I really thank God for this whole experience. At least I now know American education standards.
And the latest episode of Glee, plus our GP CT compre passage really makes me want to go to New York! The first thing I'll do is to worship their nightlights. The Big Apple, Gotham, Center of the Universe, The City That Never Sleeps, The Capital of the World. Where dreams are made of.

I will come back down to earth and touch econs later. Monopolistically competitive industry- here I come!!!!!

"Most students take the SAT for the first time during the spring of their junior year and a second time during the fall of their senior year."

Should I take it again at the end of next year?

I thought we shared something special. Well, such is life.

2011-05-27T22:07:00.001+08:00

I'm like,
"forget you, and
forget him too!"

2011-05-24T17:12:00.004+08:00

FML.
I was so damn happy when I finished the econs analysis with ease, and after handing it in and everyth... I realised I did the wrong analysis.
The analysis was supposed to be on monopolistic competition, and I naively thought it was a contestable monopoly scene, so I did the whole thing on monopoly instead.
I guess I have to redo everyth! And that means there's one topic left uncovered for econs test.

On a lighter note...

Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."
Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days. Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html

Mechaphilia is a paraphilia describing a sexual attraction to machines such as bicycles, motor vehicles, helicopters, and aeroplanes.

*cough*

There's a documentary about it- My Car is My Lover. Oh my.

2011-05-23T19:56:00.002+08:00

Can't get enough of American culture, quoted so many celebrities and drama shows in my GP essay!
"Instead of speeding up the pace of life, we should be slowing it down." What do you think?
Philosophical question meh?? I thought it a kinda technical question, it's not as if they're asking cheem stuff like "the road less traveled is always better" or something right?
Regret choosing that question, I ranted. A lot. To which my exasperated GP teacher commented, "Tone is inappropriate! This is NOT a self-help book. This is a GP essay. Be disciplined in using the PEEL structure."
I can't help but rant if I feel strongly about something, okay?? :(
Note to self: choose some boring technical stuff like "is effective farming possible without science?" or some media question next time.

K off to do differentiation now!

2011-05-22T12:57:00.005+08:00

I'm actually gonna finish my HBL homework on time!
*sniff* I never thought I'd see the light of the day :')
Except that I haven't touched that darn Maclaurin's Series thingy.

Teehee Starbucks has been my study companion for efficient studying for the past 3 days! I love the Marina Square Starbucks. Good ambience sia. And they're playing this classy song which I've heard on Tom and Jerry before.

Is Facebook a monopoly in the industry?
Or is it an oligopoly? Come on, it kicked Myspace out of the picture. Or should I do the blogging scene- Blogger, Twitter and Tumblr?
Skins episode 9: JUST LOAD ALREADY!

I miss website designing so so much. It was the one that fueled my interest in photography and Photoshop.
I miss all the different friends I've made, they're from all over the world. Sometimes they say that virtual reality sucks cuz you lose all your social skills of interacting in the real world, bla bla blah, but personally I've made really good friends through the internet. True, I may not be able to share my real life problems with them, but we talk about life and schoolwork and our cultures, and coming from different parts of the world, it's really interesting knowing about their lives.
I've lost touch with most of them, sadly, but a few prominent ones still remain in my memory :)

Okay enough of reminiscing, back to econs report! 我可以做到!

[edit]
I'm done with econs report! -weeps tears of joy-
It's amazing how focused I can be at times. Maybe it's cuz of my grande mocha frappe...
But yeah!!! I can sleep in peace tonight :) :) Just gotta finish Differentiation tutorial and study Maclaurins' tomorrow night.
It's like, slacking and procrastination gives you utility in the short run but you'll regret it dearly in the long run and you'll be forced to continue operating in the wee hours of the night. (can't even afford to shut down!) But finishing work on time gives you satisfaction in the long run. Like, I can watch today's Sunday Night Movie (whatever it is) in peace now.
To think I was slacking so much on Tuesday/ Wednesday/ Thursday morning + afternoon! Oh well.
Sales in Topshop opposite Starbucks. Maybe I can find something in there to reward me for my efforts. HAHA I sound so materialistic.
[/edit]

2011-05-21T22:59:00.003+08:00

Pasir Ris library opens at 11am, so does the cafe inside there. The cafe in there is one of my fave study hangouts.
I reach the place at 11.01am... and the best/ decent seats are all taken up!
I can envision this scene, where teenagers with all their study dates/ materials queue up and camp outside the library @ 10.30am, and when the librarian opens the gates (idk how he/she does that, never been there @ opening before) in slow motion, everyone rushes in like a mad crowd on Christmas eve and chopes the best seats in the cafe.
Maybe I should camp outside the library one day. Just to see what it's like, and be part of the mad rush. And chope my fave seats in the library- the ones with the decently sized tables.

Last week of school before the June holidays- SO EXCITED! I wanna swim at least once a week, I think I'm addicted to swimming now haha. (my stamina sucks though, I wanna swim cuz the sun feels so good when I'm in the water) And I wanna go to the beach too :(
AND GSS WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm so darn nervous for my SAT results, I even had nightmares about them.
Idk why I'm so afraid, it's not like the 'A' levels anyway. But still...

Anyway Xin Xin, don't be so nervous la!
Being nervous won't help sway the results or anyth, right? And you have plenty of time to be nervous now. There are other things to worry about. Like completing HBL on time and surviving boring lectures.
I know I'm a hypocrite cuz I'm absolutely worried about the stupid SAT results! 26 May can't come soon enough.

And they say the world is gonna end soon? 21 May 6 pm US time. US is about 13 hours behind us... so it's around 7am SGT.
I think it's BS, how many times have people prophesied the end of the world? Countless. I don't believe in 2012 too.
I've said it once and I'm saying it again- I'm gonna turn 18 no matter what, even though the world may end on my birthday.
What are you gonna do if you know the world's gonna end the next day?
Start drinking Gong Cha until your stomach's gonna explode? Watch your fave dramas all night long? Start calling your family and friends and tell them how much you love them? Go skinny dipping in the nearest beach? Start panicking and worrying about what you're gonna do to make the last few hours of your life worthwhile?
I think I'll probably do that haha.
And imagine how the world's gonna end. Like is the earth gonna start shaking? Or are meteors gonna fall from the sky?
I once had this wonderful dream that the night sky was dotted with a million stars and there were gradients of colours all over it, like the aurora borealis. I hope I'll get to see that in real life.

K gudnite kids. Gotta finish my econs monopoly notes!
OMT I JUST HAD A BRAINWAVE FOR MONOPOLY/ OLIGOPOLY.
I'm a genius.

Should I start watching Pretty Little Liars?
Shay Mitchell is gorgeous! She's gonna be my role model from now on :)